


MFEO (Pt. 2 - You Can Breathe Now)

by thebestcoast



Series: MFEO [2]
Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 11:29:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 42,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11230014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebestcoast/pseuds/thebestcoast
Summary: Six years after the events of part one, the gang reunites for a wedding.(Part two from my old computer. Again, it has not been read or edited in seven years.)





	MFEO (Pt. 2 - You Can Breathe Now)

**Author's Note:**

> Rating for language mostly.
> 
> (This is the second piece I found on a old laptop of mine, and if I find anymore, I'll post it! Thanks for reading!)

   Pete glanced down at the invitation in his hands once again and grinned.  It wasn’t a surprise.

 

_We invite you to witness the union of_

_Gabriel Saporta and William Beckett_

_On August 2, 2019 at five o’clock._

_The ceremony will take place at the Beckett Estate._

 

     He tossed the invitation into his carry-on, and then threw the small black bag down on his bed next to his suit.  He was honored that William had asked him to be his best man, though that hadn’t really been a surprise either.  He had been with Bill when he picked up the ring and when he had asked Gabe to marry him.  Both had been more nerve wracking for Pete than for Bill; he’d been terrified that his friends wouldn’t stay together for the long haul.

     Pete’s cell phone rang shrilly from the kitchen, and he left his bedroom, running to catch it.  He answered, tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder to free his hands, “hello?”

     “Pete,” it was Travis, “please tell me you are on your way to the airport. Bill is being a fucking bitch because you’re not here yet.”  Pete laughed as he shoved his phone charger into his pocket, afraid he might forget it.  He nearly tripped on one of the many moving boxes surrounding him.  Going to California for college had been a spur of the moment decision and moving back to Chicago was as well.  He walked back into his bedroom to close his suitcases and move them next to the door.

     “I haven’t left yet, but Jon and Spencer took off this morning.  They’re my backup.  I’m leaving right now,” he said.  Travis groaned at something William was shouting at him, “fine, hurry.  Bill is acting crazy – more than usual, I mean.”  Pete laughed and hung up, pocketing his phone.  He rushed through his apartment, picking up his bag and suit, and left his key in the small hanging light fixture outside his door.  The movers were coming later that day, and he left his phone number taped on the inside of the door just in case.  He was moving back home, but this time he would be living alone permanently.  His parents had picked up and moved to Seattle for a long-term job offer just months ago.  Pete decided he didn’t want them to sell his childhood home and told them he’d come back to take care of the place.

          The past six years had been mostly kind to him. After he, Jon, and Spencer made it to California, they had settled in immediately. Pete had found the apartments rather small, especially compared to the home he was used to, but he was excited to be on his own and live near the coast. As he rushed down the hallway of his home for the past few years, he couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. He couldn’t believe the time had moved so quickly, and he honestly wanted to go back. College had been more fun than he’d thought possible, even though his friends weren’t there. Jon and Spencer had ended up crashing at his place more often than not during their freshman year, and they finally got an apartment of their own the summer before junior year.

          They had partied together, studied together, and sure as hell cried together over the years. He hadn’t thought that things could go so smoothly after college, but they had all busted their asses to get where they are… or well, more accurately, Jon and Spencer busted their asses. Pete had finally broken down and asked his parents for help. Spencer was a year into his program in medical school, with no signs of stopping. He was still the exact same guy from high school, all snark and no bite. He and Jon had one of the most stable relationships Pete had ever seen outside of his own parents. They had broken up once in the past six years, and it had lasted a whopping seven hours before Jon showed up, told Spencer that they couldn’t break up, and Spencer took him back immediately. Other than that, their fights were never too big, but they argued constantly. Had to keep the passion alive, Pete had thought.

          Even with Jon traveling so much while Spencer was stuck in school, they still maintained their relationship. Jon had become a photographer for an online music site, with freelance work on the side. He mostly traveled around, taking photos of up and coming bands for the site, and recently, he’d been following some bigger bands on tour, taking stage pictures. Pete had thought for sure that they would fall apart with all the distance between them, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. Just yesterday, Spencer was pulling up Jon’s latest photos to show to the barista during his and Pete’s weekly coffee run. They were both proud of each other, and Jon would typically take over for Spencer when someone asked what he wanted to do with his life. “He’s going to be a brilliant and sexy brain surgeon,” Jon would say, “like Grey’s Anatomy but way fucking better and more realistic.”

          Pete finally made it downstairs to his car and threw his things into the trunk. He was running late, and he needed to make sure his car was there for pick up to ship to Chicago. He’d decided to fly because of his company, and he just wasn’t able to leave any earlier with so many things going on at work. Three months out of college, Pete decided that he knew all he needed to about running a record label. He asked his parents for help, which they offered, but they were cautious about it. “I believe in you, son, but know that this is it. You’re a man now, and the decisions and mistakes you make are your own. If this is what you really want, we’ll help you get started,” Peter had told him.

          Decaydance Records wasn’t well-known, but he was making a name for himself in the industry. He’d made a meeting with the guys at Island Records to talk to them about setting up a deal between them, filtering smaller acts they wouldn’t have time for through him. They had seemed interested, and now he was waiting for them to call him. Travis was his right-hand man within the label, and he would not even have the recording studio if it weren’t for Travis’ bartering skills. He had moved to California after graduating from the University of Chicago with a music business degree, and since he’d already been told he would work for Pete one day, he knew that he’d have a job. He was also one of the first acts that Pete had signed to the label, which currently only featured three artists. Travis, a local band from Santa Monica, and Brendon.

          Speaking of – Pete called Brendon from his car. “Hey, have you left yet?” He heard a snort.

          “Are you kidding? Princess can’t get his shit together so we can leave.” Pete laughed at Ryan’s annoyed tone.

          “Well, I just left, and I’m pretty sure I’m always the late one, so, step it up.”

          “Brendon!” Pete heard Ryan yell, “Pete’s already left, which means we’re going to be there after him and that’s ridiculously late.” There was the brief sound of a struggle before Brendon was speaking to him.

          “In my defense, you’re further away than I am.” Pete shook his head and pulled into the turning lane for the car drop off.

          “Wrong. First, I’m the best man, which means that I have to be there today. I’m flying, so I’ll be there in roughly six hours. Your flight doesn’t leave for a couple hours, which will take about four hours, and you don’t technically need to be there until tomorrow anyway. It was your decision to leave early.” Brendon huffed.

          “Okay… so – whatever. I’ll be there when I’m there. I wasn’t expecting Ryan anyways. I thought we were meeting at the airport, so it’s throwing me off. Have you ever tried to finish packing while there is a person willing to fuck you sitting on your bed?” Pete heard Ryan bark out a laugh in the background.

          “I can’t say that I have. Just try to make it on time for the ceremony or Gabe will be pissed that you missed his wedding because of sex.”

          “Gabe will be overjoyed if I miss his wedding for sex. William, on the other hand, not so much.” Pete laughed as he parked his car.

          “True, and William’s already losing it. So make it a quickie and I’ll see you there,” Pete said and hung up before Brendon could argue anymore. He jumped out of his car, pulled his bag out of the back, and headed to the valet desk for a ticket to have his car picked up. He was excited to see everyone again. It was the first time they all were going to be in the same room since high school. Well, not all. Hayley was still in Europe, giving piano and vocal lessons, and she wasn’t going to make it to the wedding. Greta was in the middle of her graduate program at Yale, which apparently included summer classes, and she couldn’t leave. Other than that, he was pretty sure the gang would all be there. He took his ticket from the young woman behind the counter and went to put it on the dashboard of his car before rushing to make his flight. 

          Pete was excited to see his friends, yes, but he knew that one person in particular would be there. He didn’t allow himself to dwell on that and tried to focus on getting to his gate before the plane took off. It was Gabe and Bill’s weekend, and he only needed to be the greatest best man he could be for the next four days. He was not surprised that this wedding was a weekend long event. William’s family never did anything half-way, and Gabe was the same. Pete was asked to be there Thursday to help prepare for the rest of the weekend. Friday was the formal day with family friendly games and brunch. Saturday was the wedding, and Sunday was for friends only; it was supposed to be a last hangout before William and Gabe leave for Europe on their honeymoon.

          As Pete finally boarded his plane and took his seat, he pulled out his laptop for work and waited for the okay to turn it on. He needed to keep himself busy with work and the wedding because otherwise, his mind wondered to a place he didn’t want to go.

\---

          “Bren, seriously, we need to leave. We have a long ass trip ahead of us.” Ryan heard Brendon moving around the bathroom of his apartment. Brendon rushed out, throwing his toiletry bag into his carry-on, and zipping it up.

          “There, packed. I’ve been done for hours and you’re bitching about nothing.” Ryan rolled his eyes and grabbed Brendon’s hand. Brendon smirked at him, “oh, I see. You want to have that quickie that Pete was talking about.” Ryan pulled away, rolling his eyes again, and Brendon leapt onto him, pushing him to the bed. “I didn’t say no,” he smiled and leaned down to kiss him. Ryan wrapped his arms around Brendon’s neck and pulled him closer but moved his lips away.

          “We’ll have sex in Chicago,” he said, laughing when Brendon’s smile dropped, “let’s go.” He pushed Brendon to the bed next to him.

          “I can’t wait until we get to Chicago! That’s at least eight more hours.”

          “Well, we better make it faster,” Ryan stood, smoothing his shirt down, “besides, Chicago needs to be christened. We’ve never had sex there.” Brendon’s eyes widened and his smile returned.

          “You’re right, it wouldn’t be right to not show our old home a good time,” he said grabbing his bags. “Hey, could we do it in my old bedroom? Man, sixteen-year-old me would die.” Ryan laughed at Brendon’s eagerness.

          “Only if we do it in mine, too.” He grabbed one of Brendon’s bags from him and led Brendon out of the apartment.

          Brendon was right. Ryan spent so much time hate-masturbating in his room as a teen, and his younger self would spontaneously combust if he got Brendon into bed. He looked back at the man behind him as Brendon locked the door. Brendon looked older, but only in the best way. His jaw was more defined and his arms were bigger. He was still lean, but he’d filled out in a way that Ryan never could. He wouldn’t say that Brendon had matured a lot, but he was more responsible than he’d been at least. He remembered when they’d finally transitioned from being long distance friends to boyfriends.

**January 2015**

          Ryan had been afraid that he and Brendon would lose touch after high school, but he was wrong. Brendon had reached out to him one day, early on in their first semester with a question about his English paper. Ryan had worked him through it and they’d just continued texting. At first it was just school stuff or something about their mutual friends, but it turned into a casual way to check in on each other or send funny pictures. One day, Brendon called him and they stayed on the phone for five minutes. Ryan’s heart nearly beat out of his chest when he hung up. Eventually their five-minute calls every other week turned into hour long calls every day, and Brendon invited Ryan to visit him in Boston. Ryan jumped at the chance, and he’d begun visiting Brendon in Boston at least once a month. Ryan, of course, asked Brendon to come to New York, which he did at least once a month. Now, eight months after they’d started visiting each other, Ryan was on his way to see Brendon in Boston again. He knew his way around pretty well and met Brendon at a small pub downtown.

          “Hey, there you are,” Brendon said, standing up from his booth. He pulled Ryan into a hug, which lasted longer than Ryan thought was normal, but he wasn’t going to complain. “I went ahead and ordered you a coffee. I wasn’t sure if you wanted anything.” Brendon sat down and pulled his own drink closer to him. Ryan still didn’t typically drink. He’d had some champagne on New Year’s and some wine at his parent’s anniversary dinner, but he stayed away from it mostly. Ryan sat down across from Brendon and pulled off his jacket.

          “Coffee is fine, thanks,” he said, taking a sip. “How’ve you been?” Brendon laughed.

          “You mean since last weekend?” Brendon had just been to New York the previous weekend for one of Patrick’s vocal performances, and he’d stayed with Ryan and his roommate, Hayden in their on-campus apartment. Brendon started out crashing on their couch, but over the past couple months, he and Ryan had started sharing the bed. It wasn’t anything they hadn’t done before, Ryan had told him and watched Brendon’s face redden. Brendon spoke up again, “classes were tough this week because of the extra rehearsals for the show. I’m surprised I still have my voice.” Brendon was the lead, not surprising to Ryan, in his forth musical at Berkley. Ryan had been to the last two, and he would definitely be there to see this one.

          “I knew you were busy. We didn’t have time really to talk,” Ryan kept his hands wrapped around his coffee mug. He could see the head of the little green man on the mug peeking over his thumbs. Brendon had introduced him to this pub, That Green Gentleman, a couple months ago, telling him it had reminded him of Ryan, and of course, it became his favorite place. It was dimly lit with big antique rugs overlapping each other on the ground. All of the stools were varying shapes, sizes, and colors. Above the bar was the large logo of a green man smirking under a top hat and the words, “Things are shaping up to be pretty odd” were written, wrapping around the green silhouette. The bar served alcohol, coffee, tea, and food, so he and Brendon found themselves eating there a lot.

          “Did you miss me that much?” Brendon teased, finishing his tea and setting it to the side.

          “Yeah,” Ryan said, surprising himself and Brendon. They were both very aware of their complicated relationship and the feelings there. Brendon still remembered being outed at Pete’s party by Gabe their senior year, and how it had made everything better and worse. Ryan continued to tiptoe around everything, acting like they were nothing more than friends who visited each other, talked on the phone, slept in the same bed…

          “I missed you, too, man,” Brendon recovered quickly. They were close friends now, and he was allowed to be honest. It was nothing he hadn’t said to Jon or even Spencer. Ryan smiled down at his coffee and took another sip. “Uh, I meant to ask, are you going home over the summer or do you have plans? Jon mentioned something about staying with him for a while.”

          “Yeah, Spencer said the same,” he laughed, “they must love that they can invite us places together now.” Brendon’s smile dimmed a little, and Ryan regretted mentioning it. Brendon never liked bringing up their past issues. “I’m sorry,” Ryan said quickly, “that’s not us anymore.”

          “I know. I would never hurt you again,” Brendon said honestly, “I’m going to go grab another tea. You want anything?” Ryan shook his head and waited for Brendon to disappear to the bar before letting his head fall to the table. This was not how he’d planned for things to go. He wanted to have a relaxing time with him, having fun and enjoying his company. He sighed and pulled his phone out. He had a message from his roommate, Hayden, asking if he’d made it alright. He shot a quick text back, saying he was all good. He had one from Patrick as well, telling him about his date with Avery. Ryan told him that he was glad things were going so well, and that he was out with Brendon. Patrick text back immediately: _Out with Bren, huh? Just tell him already! I’m tired of watching you two dance around each other!!_ Before Ryan could reply, Brendon slid into the booth across from him and Ryan put his phone away.

          “Ooh, are you sexting, RyRo?” Brendon teased again, and Ryan turned red.

          “No, I’m not _sexting_ anyone. It was Patrick. Wanted to talk about his date with Avery.” Brendon nodded and took a long drink from his new cup of tea.

          “You like him?”

          Ryan shrugged, “yeah, he’s a good guy. Patrick’s been friends with him for a while, so, he must be an alright guy. He’s kind of quiet anytime I’m around. Or Gabe is around,” he laughed.

          “I bet. He was quiet when I met him, too. I think we’re just used to Pete,” he said. “That must be Patrick’s thing, then?  Dating his friends?”

          “That’s the best way to start a relationship though. Gabe and Bill, Jon and Spence, they were all friends first.” Ryan didn’t mention that Jon and Spencer got together after the falling out. They didn’t try to beat each other to death, though. Brendon giggled. “What?”

          “Nothing, you just have a piece of hair – nevermind, I’ll get it,” Brendon leaned over to smooth Ryan’s hair down, his hand gliding easily over and behind his ear.

          “How many drinks did you have before this?” Ryan asked him, smelling alcohol on his breath.

          “Uh, four… maybe?” Brendon laughed again. Ryan rolled his eyes at him but laughed, too. “I was hanging out with some people from the show at their apartment and we just had a few.”

          “Well, you’ve been keeping it together. I’m proud,” Ryan said as he finished off his lukewarm coffee.

          “Have I? Good. I’ve been told I’m too flirtatious when I’m drunk.” Ryan flushed at Brendon’s blunt confession.

          “Are you?” Ryan choked, “I haven’t noticed.”

          “Bullshit,” Brendon looked away, “I’ve been worse than usual tonight.”

          “Do you usually flirt with me?” Ryan braved.

          “Non-stop,” Brendon said, still staring at the mural on the opposite wall, “tonight, though, I’ve already touched you, bought you a drink, and teased you about sexting. I really should not drink anymore,” he said.

          “I didn’t think that was flirting. That’s just you,” Ryan argued. “You’re touchy with everyone, and you’re generous, and you – I mean, I’m sure you give other people shit about their sex lives.” Brendon shook his head.

          “It’s different. I’m sorry,” he said, “I know you want to ignore it and I’m not making it easier.”

          “Ignore what?” Ryan said. He wanted to hear Brendon say it again. He knew he was ready to hear it now.

          “Nothing,” Brendon brushed off, “hey, what do you want to do this weekend? I have an early practice on Sunday morning, but other than that, I’m free, so if there was anything that you had in mind, we could go -.’

          “What do I want to ignore, Brendon?”

          “Ryan, I do not want to do this.”

          “Too bad, you shouldn’t have brought it up. Tell me.”

          “No.”

          “Brendon, I swear to God, if you don’t say it, I will get on a plane and never come back here. Just say it.”

          “What?” Brendon asked angrily, “you seem to already know what it is. So, you tell me. What is it?”

          “You have feelings for me,” Ryan said. Brendon gave an ugly laugh.

          “There it is. The thing we’ve been ignoring for two years. It’s all out now.”

          “Could you just say it, please?”

          Brendon looked at him, surprised and hurt, “you want me to say it so we can ignore it again? That’s fucking mean, Ryan. I thought we were done trying to destroy each other.”

          “We are. Don’t try to make us out to be enemies anymore. We are not the angry kids from high school anymore. We’re twenty years old, not fifteen. Do you need something from me first?” Ryan stared at Brendon, waiting for a reply that never came. “I think about you all the time. I think about us when we were fifteen, and I don’t think about how the night ended. I think about how it started.” Brendon looked like he was going to cry. Ryan continued, “I remember asking you if you wanted to go somewhere quieter. I remember telling you that I liked your lips, and I told you I wanted to kiss you. So, I guess my question now is, Brendon, do you want to go somewhere quieter?” Ryan could hear his heart pounding, feel it expanding in his chest, waiting for Brendon’s answer.

          Brendon stood up and walked to the bar, leaving Ryan in the middle of a panic attack. He had been so sure that Brendon still felt the same way. Maybe he came on too strong, too fast. As he panicked, he didn’t notice Brendon come back to the table.

          “I had to pay my tab,” he said quietly, “but we can go now.” Ryan didn’t look up at him, but he pulled his jacket on and slid out of the booth, following Brendon outside. Brendon turned to him when they reached the street and pulled Ryan’s zipper up on his coat. “We should go to my place. Where I can make sure the door is locked,” he said meaningfully. Ryan practically melted into the street.

          “Holy shit,” he breathed and moved in to kiss him. Brendon, just as he had years before, placed a hand on his chest.

          “Not here,” he said, “let’s go to my place.” And Ryan nodded. He could wait a little longer.

**Thursday July 30, 2019**

          “What are you thinking about?” Brendon asked him as they packed everything into the back of Brendon’s van, which he’d finally taken to Boston after graduating.

          “The pub when you finally admitted you wanted it real bad,” Ryan joked, and Brendon threw his hands up dramatically.

          “You mean when you begged me to give it to you? Yeah I remember.” Brendon pulled the hatch of the car down and slammed it shut. “Get in the van, kid. I’ve got goodies.”

          Ryan cringed, “God, Bren, that’s gross.” He laughed as Brendon wiggled his eyebrows and climbed into the passenger seat. Chicago was all too far away.

\---

          “Where is Patrick? I’m freaking the fuck out,” Gabe yelled at Travis. Travis had just left William’s, and Pete couldn’t get to Chicago fast enough. He was losing his mind going back and forth between the two grooms. Gabe stood in the hotel’s bright, white robe, gaping open in the front, exposing an indecently small pair of neon briefs and a gel eye mask pushed up on his forehead.

          “Patrick’s flight left four hours ago. He’ll be here soon,” Travis said as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He needed everyone to arrive because he was not having fun being in charge. He had thought Ryan would be there soon since he was one of Gabe’s groomsmen, but that was a bust. He glanced at the message on his phone; Jon and Spencer had just dropped their bags at Spencer’s parents’ house, and they were on their way. “Oh, thank God,” he said, smiling for the first time that day, “Jon and Spencer are on their way.”

          “That’s great, gang’s almost all here,” he grabbed the champagne bottle off the nightstand, “but they are not my best man. I need my best man. And a BLT. I need my best man and a BLT.” Gabe pulled another long drink from the bottle. “And more champagne. So, best man, BLT, champagne.” Travis rolled his eyes and picked up the hotel phone to call in room service while Gabe paced around the suite. Travis told the woman over the phone that he wanted another bottle of champagne and a BLT, which the woman knew was with no mayonnaise and extra bacon… he wondered how many BLTs Gabe had consumed since yesterday. He hung up and told Gabe that it would be about twenty minutes on the sandwich.

          “Listen, man,” Travis started, “in a couple days, you are marrying your best friend and everyone you love will be there. Patrick will stand next to you, Pete will be there with William, your mom will sit with his parents, and everything will be fine.” Gabe dropped onto the bed next to him.

          “I know. I’m freaking out because I’ve been planning this day for eight years now. This specific day with that specific man. I just want to make sure that – I want everything to be perfect.” A knock at the door stopped Travis from responding, and he went to answer.

          “Holy shit! I’ve never been so happy to see someone,” Travis said, pulling Patrick into a hug. Patrick laughed and set his suitcase down as he was attacked by the larger man.

          “Good to see you too, man.” Gabe bounded to the door and pulled Travis back.

          “You’re here! I need you. Everything needs to be perfect.” Patrick grabbed his bag off the ground and moved into the room.

          “Gabe,” he said, looking around the disastrous room, “what is going to make your wedding perfect?”

          “William.”

          “And William will marry you on Saturday, no matter what, right?” Gabe nodded, “Then your wedding is going to be perfect regardless.” Gabe grabbed Patrick into a tight hug.

          “Thank you. I needed some support.” Travis threw his hands up and cleared his throat, but he was ignored.

          “Okay, since Patrick is here, I’m going to take a break before Pe- um, before I go to Bill's,” Travis stumbled, “bye guys.” Travis darted out the door, and Patrick looked at Gabe and laughed.

          “It’s okay, Gabe. I know Pete will be here this weekend. Believe me, I am okay. I got over Pete a long time ago, and I’m sure he’s moved on, too.” Gabe looked skeptical. “Listen, this weekend is about you and William, not me and Pete. There is no me and Pete, okay? I haven’t heard from him in over four years.”

          “Well, his loss anyway. You’re hotter than ever and very much taken.” Patrick laughed and pushed his suitcase to sit in front of the closet.

          “So, where’s the champagne?”

          “On its way,” Gabe smiled and dropped onto the bed, patting the spot next to him. “Now, I saw your plus one, and I’m assuming that it’s Avery? The _fiancé_.” Patrick pushed his shoes off and sat next to Gabe.

          “Of course, who else would it be? We parted ways at the airport. He’s at my mom’s.”

          “Does your mother like him?” Patrick rolled his eyes.

          “Yes, Gabe. She liked him when she met him the first time, three years ago.”

          “Okay, damn. I was just making conversation. I need to get my mind off everything. I’ve been stressing out for months, even with Pete.” Patrick looked surprised.

          “What do you mean?”

          “Pete put just about everything together. William and I had all these ideas, and he’s been there since the beginning, helping us. He’s helped me make every big decision and kept me from screaming at everyone. He’s been great.”

          “Wow, that’s – that’s great, Gabe. I know Pete’s good under pressure, but I didn’t think he’d be so- organized. Besides, I’m your best man. I should have been helping with the decisions.” Gabe laughed.

          “He’s different now… but you know that. I know you’ve kept up with him just as much as he’s kept up with your famous self.”

          “I am not famous, Gabe. My fiancé is famous, but I am not.” Gabe sighed and leaned back against the pillows.

          “Tell that to your album.”

          “Yeah, my album that sold so many copies that none of my friends ever heard it,” he said, looking pointedly at Gabe.

          “I have heard it! And it was great!”

          “Yeah, after I showed up at your apartment to give you a copy!”

          “Actually, I heard it before -.” A sharp knock on the door interrupted Gabe, “oh! That’s the champagne, get it!” Patrick pushed himself off the bed and went to the door. He could use some champagne. He’d been dreading Gabe’s wedding, knowing that it would be the first time he saw Pete in six years. Plus, Avery was with him, and he knew Pete wouldn’t be able to keep himself out of trouble. Avery knew just about everything from his time as Pete’s best friend, but he’d left out the unimportant parts. Like all the times Patrick had kissed him, and their almost relationship at his father’s funeral. After he grabbed the champagne and Gabe’s sandwich, he closed the door with the heel of his foot and headed to the bed.

          “So, after your wedding, are you going to be the best man in my wedding?” Gabe clapped loudly.

          “Oh, hell yes. I’ll be the best best man!” he popped the cork off the bottle and took a long gulp before handing it to Patrick, “but right now, get me drunk before I have another freak out.” Patrick nodded, smiling at his friend, and took a long drink of his own.

**August 2013**

          Patrick and Ryan moved through the masses of people crowding their freshman orientation. Gabe’s orientation with the other pre-med students had been yesterday, and today was the one for the liberal arts students. Ryan was about to leave him for the English orientation, and Patrick was nervous. He hadn’t been alone since they moved to New York. Gabe and Ryan were constantly at his place, and he was far too used to his friends and hometown being a buffer against his social awkwardness.

          “That’s me up there,” Ryan said, pointing up the stairs.

          “Don’t leave me.”

          “You’ll be fine,” Ryan laughed. I’ll meet you back here in two hours, okay?” Patrick nodded, still frowning, and Ryan bounded up the stairs, long legs taking them two at a time easily. Patrick turned and headed toward the large auditorium holding his fellow music classmates. He dodged a few girls as they rushed past him, and he tried to keep as close to the wall as possible. He found a seat in the back corner where he sat alone for about fifteen minutes, and then he was surprised when another body dropped into the seat next to him. Patrick looked over at the tall man and immediately noticed his perfectly symmetrical features, sprinkle of freckles, light green eyes, and white teeth. He was dressed in simple straight leg jeans and a dark grey t-shirt; his arms were something to write home about. Patrick knew he was staring, and he knew he’d been caught when the other man’s smile turned to a smirk. He held out a big palmed hand.

          “Hey, I’m Avery. Freshman?” He asked as if it wasn’t freshman orientation. Patrick pulled his hand up to shake and nodded. Avery laughed, “you have a name?”

          “Yeah, I’m Patrick, sorry,” he laughed nervously, still shaking Avery’s hand.

          “Nice to meet you, Patrick. You’re majoring in music, huh?” Patrick nodded, finally releasing his hand. “What’s your concentration going to be?”

          “I’m not really sure. Probably theory.” Avery nodded.

          “Not musically inclined?” Patrick smiled slightly.

          “Not exactly. Just not really a performer,” Patrick said honestly, because he wasn’t anymore. Not after Fall Out Boy disbanded. He found that he was not able to look at Avery directly. He didn’t understand why this man, who did not look like a freshman, was talking to him. There were plenty of hot guys and girls in the room, and he was certainly not one of them.

          “Hmm,” Avery murmured to himself, “so, where are you from, Patrick?” New students were filling in the chairs around him, and the faculty was conversing loosely at the front of the auditorium.

          “Chicago,” Patrick answered, finally looking at the man again. He was seriously too good looking.

          “Chicago? Great place,” Avery said animatedly, “I went there once in high school, but all we did was visit the big silver bean thing.” Patrick laughed. “I’d love to go back when it’s not the dead of November and freezing.”

          “It’s the windy city,” Patrick said, “it’s always freezing.” Avery smiled brightly at him. Patrick knew this guy was just being nice, but he felt like he was being flirted with.

          “Oh, hey,” Avery said, “it’s about to start. I could catch you after?” Patrick fumbled with his words as Avery stood before nodding. Why wasn’t he sitting with Patrick? He must have friends somewhere, Patrick thought. He watched Avery walk to the front of the auditorium, and he lost sight of him in the sea of people standing.

          “Attention, attention,” an older man with pale hair stood at the podium, “could everyone please take a seat so we can get started?” He paused and let the room calm down before continuing. “Alright, welcome to the NYU Freshman Orientation 2013!” Everyone clapped and whooped loudly around Patrick, and he couldn’t help but smile. He was here; he’d made it to New York, and he could finally make a name for himself. Make new friends with similar interests. He could forget for a moment the loss of his father, his friends, Pete… “I am happy to introduce you to our staff and the department leaders.” Patrick drifted off for a moment as the man began to call the names of the faculty with him. He didn’t begin listening again until he heard Avery’s name.

          “Avery Levine, one of our senior music students, is a name I’m sure some of you are familiar with,” the older man beckoned Avery to stand with him and Patrick sat shocked. Avery Levine? He knew that name. “For those of you who do not, Avery had a very successful break recently. He was offered the chance to co-produce an album for a new artist. The album has gained incredible success, and we at NYU, would like to offer our congratulations to him. I am sure he has a bright future ahead of him. Avery Levine,” he said, stepping back for Avery.

          “Wow, uh, I didn’t expect that,” he laughed, looking down at the podium, “thank you, Dr. Hamilton. I am excited to continue working on music and producing. I had no idea just how popular the album would become, but I’m glad it did.” Avery looked around the room, and Patrick swore his eyes landed on him. “If anybody wants to talk shop or advice on what teachers to avoid, I’m the RA in Heisman Hall, so, yeah.” Everyone laughed and clapped for him, and Avery faded into the back of the group. Patrick couldn’t believe he’d just had a full conversation with Avery Levine, one of the youngest producers in the music industry. Patrick had gone crazy over the album he’d produced after Brendon introduced him to it.

          Patrick fidgeted in his seat for the remainder of the orientation as they talked rules, expectations, and handed out free NYU swag bags. He wanted to leave as soon as possible just in case Avery actually wanted to speak to him again. He couldn’t handle a hot, talented senior trying to chat with him. When they were finally dismissed and told to pick up their IDs before 5:00PM, Patrick was the first out of his seat. Looking at all the hipster skinny guys in their all black clothes made him feel ridiculous in his bright blue sweater vest and khaki shorts. He pulled his hat down further onto his head and pulled his shirt down in the front, self-conscious of his round stomach. He clutched the NYU bag closer to him as he pressed through the hordes of people in the lobby, trying to get outside. He sent a text to Ryan, telling him he’d wait outside of the coffee house down the street. When Patrick finally pushed through the front doors, he breathed deeply. He’d made it out without –

          “Patrick, hey!” Avery’s voice rose above the cars and people, and Patrick froze with the NYU bag tight against his chest. He spun around and saw Avery pressing between a group of boys to catch up to him. “Hey, I’m glad I caught you!” Patrick frowned, still confused as to why Avery wanted to talk to him.

          “Hey, sorry. It was really crowded in there,” Patrick mumbled out. Avery nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. He was adorably bowlegged.

          “Well, I just wanted to – I don’t know. I know how shitty being an out of town freshman can be, and I guess I wanted to offer my friendship,” he laughed uncomfortably.

          “Uhm, I’m actually here with some friends from high school. I’m meeting one right now,” Patrick told him.

          “Okay, well,” Avery stopped, laughed, and started again, “listen, I honestly sat with you because I thought you were cute, and I’m not usually this forward, but I was today, and I hope that I didn’t freak you out too badly.” Patrick could not believe what he was hearing. This guy liked him? This sexy, successful, musical prodigy liked him? “Patrick? Shit. I freaked you out.”

          “No!” Patrick said quickly, “I’m not freaked out, just -.”

          “Not gay, sorry.”

          “No, I am,” he said, surprising himself at the ease of which he said it.

          “Oh, you have a boyfriend. Of course,” Avery laughed, a little lighter, “that makes sense.”

          “No, I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m just surprised.”

          “Why are you surprised?” Patrick stalled. He didn’t want to say, well, guys like you don’t like me. No one likes me.

          “Guys don’t really approach me,” he settled.

          “Right, well, I know you’ve got somewhere to be, so I’ll let you go, but- here, give me your phone,” Avery said and Patrick handed it over. He watched Avery enter his phone number into the contacts. “There. That’s my cell number. Text me or call or whatever. Only if you want! I’d like to see you again, even if it’s just a laid-back hangout. It doesn’t have to be a date,” he said, smiling. Patrick couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his life.

          “Yeah,” he stuttered, “yeah, I’ll, uh, yeah.” He finished lamely, but Avery never stopped smiling at him.

          “Great, see you around Patrick,” Avery smile broadened as he walked away and Patrick had to force himself not to watch him. He had been in New York for less than a month, and he had friends, a crazy amazing apartment, his own studio space, and now an incredibly hot and talented guy was interested in him. When the hell did his life start looking up?

**Thursday, July 30, 2019**

          Pete entered the gates of the Beckett’s house and was greeted by dozens of workers moving around the estate. He jumped out of the taxi, pulling his bags from the backseat, and paying the driver. Every inch of the grounds had been made into a dream wedding landscape, and he pat himself on the back a little because he’d had a hand in it. He saw William on the porch, hands waving like a madman at the workers, and he couldn’t help but laugh at his friend’s dramatics. William looked over at him and suddenly dropped his arms as a smile fell over his face and the tension fell from his shoulders.

          “You’re here!” William yelled, dashing to him. Pete dropped his bags and held up his arms to catch William as he launched himself at Pete.

          “I made it,” he said as the other man squeezed him, “and you’ve lost it?” He asked, releasing William. “You are yelling at the good people working for you? For shame, Bill.” Pete looked over to the guys William had been shouting at and called out to them, “hey guys, whatever you’re doing, it’s great. Bill and I are going to go relax, and if you need anything, I’m Pete. You can ask me.” William grabbed him again, hugging him so tightly that Pete had a hard time drawing in breath.

          “I am so glad you are finally here.” Pete laughed as Bill let him go and picked his bags back up.

          “Well, let’s get inside. I want to see the place.” They walked around the large fountain in the driveway, which reminded Pete much of the one in front of his own home. The front steps were lined with bright blue and white flowers and there were lights strung up around the columns of the house. William led him inside and started toward the stairs; the banisters were covered in the same flowers that lined the porch. They went upstairs to the rooms everyone would be staying in and Bill explained to him where everyone would be staying.

          “I thought I’d put Gabe’s family in these two,” William said as they passed the first doors on the right, “and Jon and Spence already dropped their stuff in here,” he pointed to the door on the left, “Ry and B in the one next to it. My parents are in their room, obviously, and I’ll stay in the guest room downstairs until after the ceremony. Gabe will stay in my room when he gets here.”

          “Why is Gabe in a hotel right now? Why isn’t he here?”

“I wanted to set everything up before he got here, so it would be a surprise. He was going to stay at his house, but I wanted to put him up in a nice place since he won’t get the normal, ‘staying in different places’ thing that most people do before a wedding.” William traveled all the way down the hall. “You’ll be in this one, right here,” William stopped in front of the last room upstairs, nearest his own bedroom. “And Joe and Andy will be bunking downstairs by the den. Then I’ve got Patrick and Avery in -.” He stopped himself and pushed the door open. Pete followed him in, dropping his bags by the bed. William watched Pete test out the bed. “Pete, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say -.”

          “Bill,” Pete sighed, “it’s alright. You don’t have to tiptoe around it. I knew he’d be here, and I know he’s engaged. Everything that happened feels like a million years ago, and I’m happy for him. I’m glad he’s found someone who makes him happy.” William nodded at him, but didn’t make eye contact. “Okay, now show me what’s going on in the backyard,” he said, passing William to leave. They walked in silence until they reached the doors to the back, and William spoke again.

          “So, who’s taking care of Decaydance while you’re gone?”

          “I closed down for the weekend. Sarah, the receptionist, is going to open up on Monday, and I go back to settle some things on Tuesday.”

          “I can’t believe you’re coming back to Chicago. Are you moving the label here?” Pete nodded, looking around the yard.

          “Yeah, L.A. is too big of a step right now. I want to get my feet under me before I try to expand to a place like that. The past two years have been insane, and I think Chicago is where I should be. It’s my home. That and I had to come back to make sure my parents didn’t sell our old house.”

          They continued walking around the huge backyard, passing the in-ground pool and small pool house. They had partied so many times in that pool house with the built-in kitchenette and bar, and once, the large windows in the front had to be replaced after _someone_ (Gabe) had accidently smashed it. Pete smiled fondly at the memory, wishing not for the first time that he could go back, but he turned his attention back to Bill’s tour, ignoring the nostalgia bubbling up in his chest. William gestured grandly at the pool, which already had white lights floating around the surface and the pool chairs had been replaced by big white cushioned seating.

          “Who’s staying in the pool house?” Pete asked off-handedly as they moved toward the set up for the ceremony. William simply looked at him, and Pete knew that meant that Patrick and Avery were staying in there; he shook off the thought of the two of them sharing a bed just as quickly as it came. The trees in William’s back yard were covered in lights and flowers and rows upon rows of white chairs were set up in front of a simple archway. To the right of them was a massive custom wooden platform with a large canopy hung from the nearby trees, covered in long sheer white curtains, lights, and even more flowers, which was for the reception. It was beautiful, and it was exactly what William and Gabe had wanted.

          “It looks amazing, Bill.” William smiled and nodded, throwing an arm around Pete.

          “I can’t believe I’m getting married this weekend. I’m marrying my best friend.” Pete grinned broadly at him because he was so happy for his friends. Everyone’s lives were coming together just as he’d always hoped. William and Gabe were committed to spending their lives together, and Spencer and Jon were a lock to be married in the next five years. Brendon and Ryan finally found each other again, and Travis had met a great girl in L.A, who was committed to moving to Chicago with him. Even Joe and Andy were involved with wonderful women of their own. Joe lived with his girlfriend, who Pete had only met once, but she’d treated him like she’d known him for years. Andy’s girlfriend was a badass, and Pete was terrified of her the first time he’d met her but warmed to her when she told him how much she loved the FOB songs that Andy had shown her.

Then there was Patrick and Avery, which still stung, even after all this time. He’d kept up with Patrick even if they hadn’t spoken in over four years, of course. He knew exactly how great Avery was, but he didn’t deserve Patrick. Though it was probably more that Pete thought no one did. He was the only one alone. It’s funny, he thought, _I was the most adamant on keeping everyone together, and I’m the only one without anyone_. He watched as William fiddled with some of the flowers on the archway, buzzing with anxious excitement over his big day, and Pete knew he was going to get through this wedding without fucking anything up and with a smile on his face, even if it killed him.

\---

          After talking William into a nap, Pete decided to make his rounds. He wanted to go by his house, stop by Nate’s record shop, visit Patrick’s mom, and go by to see Patrick’s dad. He hadn’t been home many times since he left, too afraid to run into Patrick for the longest time, and he knew that if he went to Patrick’s house over Christmas break that he would definitely be there. He hoped Patrick and Avery would be with Gabe while he saw Patrick’s mom. They’d kept in touch over the years, calling and writing to each other, and he wanted to see her as soon as he could. He didn’t want to lose her just because he’d lost Patrick. He pulled William’s car into his driveway and stared up at the large house. It seemed bigger than ever knowing his parents weren’t inside. He grabbed his own keys out of his pocket and headed inside. His parents had left a few things behind, but they’d taken most of it to their place in Seattle, wanting it to feel like home. He headed into the kitchen where they had left the signed lease on the counter, and all Pete had to do was sign it and the house was his, which was a scary thought. He was twenty-four and he would have a house and a business under his belt. He was rather impressed with himself or more so surprised that he’d done it, but he hated the idea of living in the big house alone. Grabbing the pen on top of the papers, he signed his name quickly before he could change his mind because he did want the house. He wanted it for his future family, even if it was too much for him now.

          He walked through the house, giving it a once over and checking out what his parents had left behind before heading back to the car. He wanted to get everything done before William woke up and started yelling at the workers again. He sped a little on his way to Nate’s, which had not changed at all. He walked in and waved over to Nate, who was too laid back to be excited to see him, and a new employee he’d never seen, before heading straight to the records. They were still in alphabetical order and he found the ‘S’ section quickly. There it was in black on a stark white piece of plastic with zero wear, showing how new the divider was. Patrick’s name stared up at him, and right behind it sat three copies of his album. Pete picked up all three and headed to the checkout counter. He laid them down and the employee gave him a weird look before ringing him up.

          “Hey man, how’ve you been?” Pete asked Nate.

          “Pretty good,” Nate said, casually eyeing Pete’s purchase but saying nothing, “I heard you started up a label.”

          “Yeah, actually, that’s what I came by for,” Pete said, handing the cashier his card, “I’m moving back to Chicago, and I’m bring the label with me. I need a place to run it from, and I was thinking I could take over the upstairs of this place. I know it’s storage, but I’ll pay extra in rent. It’ll just be until I find something else.” Nate seemed to consider it for a moment.

          “Yeah, won’t bother me any. Just give me a heads up and we’ll iron out the details,” Nate said coolly.

          “Thanks man,” Pete reached over to shake Nate’s hand and grabbed his bag off the counter. “I’ll pull together some paperwork and bring it by in the next couple weeks.” Nate nodded and bid him goodbye, and Pete made his way back to the car, stashing his bag in the passenger seat. The drive to Patrick’s mom’s house seemed to go by too quickly and he pulled the car into the driveway of the old blue house. He checked his hair in the rearview mirror and other than the bags under his eyes, he looked better for wear. It wasn’t until he rang the doorbell that it occurred to him that he should have called. In moments, however, Patrick’s mom swung open the door and nearly broke the sound barrier with her squeal. She leapt onto the porch and wrapped her arms around his neck.

          “Pete Wentz, I have missed you, sweetheart,” she held him for a while on the front porch before pulling back and holding up his arms like his grandmother used to do. “Let me look at you,” she smiled brightly, and Pete was struck with just how much Patrick looked like her. “Oh, you just get more handsome every day.” Pete blushed lightly under her scrutiny, but he mumbled a thanks anyway.

          “You look great, too,” he said, and he meant it. After Patrick’s dad had passed, he had watched her deteriorate and then build herself back up. He knew that she had met a man a few months ago and was beginning to date again, which pleased Pete because she deserved to be happy. Her face fell slightly however when she heard her name called from inside.

          “Pete, I – I wish you’d called. I -.” Pete watched in mild horror as the man approached them. He’d only seen him in pictures up until now, and he stopped short when he caught sight of Pete. Patrick’s mom turned quickly to look at him and began to babble, but Pete stopped her.

          “Well, I was just stopping by. I wanted to say hello before we got busy with the wedding. I’ll see you there?” Pete didn’t look directly at the man in the hallway but he could see him staring at him in his peripheral vision. Patrick’s mom nodded, uncomfortable with the sudden tension. “Great, I’ll see you.” He knew he should have left, but he couldn’t help himself. _Better now than at the wedding_ , he thought. He turned to the man. “Hey, I’m Pete,” he said, sticking a hand out.

          “I know who you are,” Avery said, his voice deep and nervous as he moved forward to grasp Pete’s hand. “I’m Avery, Patrick’s fiancé.” Pete nodded, a bitter feeling spreading over him and dropped Avery’s hand.

          “Yeah,” he said, eyeing the much taller man, “nice to meet you.” He wondered if Patrick was inside, but seeing his gorgeous fiancé made him hope that he wasn’t there to witness Pete’s misery. Avery was even better looking in person, and Pete had stalked his facebook enough to know how photogenic he was.

          “You too,” Avery said, finally coming to stand on the porch next to Patrick’s mother. “I was hoping we’d meet.” Pete wanted to roll his eyes. If this guy wanted to assert some kind of ownership over Patrick, it was bullshit. This could not be Patrick’s type. “I know this is all kinds of uncomfortable, but you are a big part of Patrick’s life, and I hope that this weekend you guys can work things out.” Okay, wait. What the fuck? Pete was at a loss for words for the first time in his life. “Sorry, Patrick said I’m too forward sometimes. I just meant that – I know he misses you, and I can’t imagine anyone not missing him, so – I want him to be happy, and I think you guys should try and patch things up. Sorry. I know it’s none of my business, but I feel like I know you,” Avery laughed awkwardly and leaned against the doorway. “Patrick told me you two were best friends and he told me about growing up here. I just think it’d be nice for you two to make up.” Pete could not believe what was happening. Patrick’s fiancé, who Pete had expected to possibly fight, wanted him and Patrick to “patch things up?” He needed to go.

          “Uh, yeah. I’m glad to see him this weekend. But,” Pete hurried, “I’ve got to get going. I’ve got another place I need to stop by before I head back to the house. See you tomorrow,” he directed at Patrick’s mom, pulling her into another hug, which she returned with even more force than before. “Nice meeting you, man. I’ll see you and Patrick there,” he gave a brief wave to them and power walked to the car.

          “Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit,” Pete settled behind the wheel, gripping it tightly. What the actual fuck had just happened? He drove quickly back to William’s, not even considering visiting Patrick’s father’s grave now that he was a mess. How in the hell was he supposed to face Avery and Patrick tomorrow? Knowing how seemingly cool Avery was and knowing Patrick was a different person made seeing them even more unsettling. He was not ready to face him, but he couldn’t get out of going to the wedding. He was so fucked.

\---

          _I just met Pete. I’m feeling more intimidated than ever._

          Patrick stared at the text from Avery while Gabe snored on the bed next to him. He’d passed out about an hour ago, and Patrick was watching reruns of _How I Met Your Mother_. He couldn’t believe it. Pete and Avery had met. Holy shit. He was expecting to be there as a buffer when it happened, and he pushed Avery’s name to call him.

          “What happened?” Patrick asked as soon as Avery answered.

          “Hi to you too, honey,” Avery snickered on the other line.

          “Seriously Avery, is he dead? Did you kill each other?” Avery laughed again.

          “Everyone is fine. He stopped by to see your mom, which sucked because she has never been that excited to see me. Anyway, I saw them talking at the door, so I went over to introduce myself, but I got nervous, as I do, and ended up standing like an awkward statue in the doorway. Yeah, but Pete is, like, crazy hot. I can’t believe you didn’t mention that, by the way,” Avery explained to him, and Patrick wanted to die. Of course, Avery thought Pete was hot, and he had no doubt that Pete thought Avery was, too.  “So, he introduced himself, shook my hand, like a man, and then excused himself. I may have babbled about you two reuniting –” he ignored Patrick’s _OH MY GOD_ – “but yeah. Nothing too bad. I do wish you’d shown me a picture or something of him that wasn’t from middle school. He’s all kinds of hot. Like, tan and tatted, and he has great arms…”

          “Who are you marrying?” Patrick asked him, irritated.

          “Aw, honey, you know you’re the only one for me. I love you and your pale, unmarred ass.” Patrick rolled his eyes, but he knew Avery wasn’t lying. He wondered if Pete looked that different from high school. He’d forced himself not to look him up over the years. The last picture he’d seen of Pete was from two years ago when Jon posted a million and one pictures of Brendon and Ryan’s visit to California. Pete was in the background, sitting on the couch reading while Ryan and Spencer stood arm in arm in front of him. Patrick had exited out of the photos before he could get lost in them. He still remembered Pete as he was that day at the airport, the last time he saw him. Half a sleeve on his left arm, a spattering of tattoos on his chest, his extra skinny teenaged limbs, all covered by his dark grey hoodie, and his face, dull in color, probably because he hadn’t been sleeping, Patrick had thought at the time. “Patrick?” he was shaken from his thoughts by Avery.

          “I’m here. Listen, Gabe’s asleep now, but when he wakes up, I’ll come back. I’ll see you soon.”

          “Okay, love you,” Avery said.

          “You, too,” Patrick told him and hung up the phone. Avery and Pete had met. Jesus Christ, the weekend couldn’t end soon enough.

\---

          When Brendon and Ryan finally arrived after their six-hour delay, neither of them were in the mood for anything. They wanted to sleep forever and forget about the entire trip.

          “My eyelids are heavy, Ryan. They’re heavy. I would hold them up, but my arms hurt, and I haven’t even done anything with them.” Ryan nodded slightly next to him and stared up at William’s house; most of the lights were still on. It was close to two in the morning, but they were sure someone would be awake. Slowly making their way up the stairs, Brendon reached the door first and stabbed the doorbell. Ryan heard some stomping around inside before Spencer swung open the door. Ryan immediately rushed forward and collapsed into Spencer’s arms. Spencer raised his eyebrows to Brendon who just shrugged and dropped a hand on his shoulder.

          “Carry him in, would you?” Brendon passed the two in the doorway, leaving him to deal with Ryan. He saw Pete, Jon, and William’s dad sitting in the living room and caught sight of William asleep on one of the chairs. Jon popped off the couch and wrapped Brendon into a hug. “I’m so happy to see you guys. Ryan and I just had the shittiest day,” he grumbled into Jon’s chest. Jon laughed and pulled Brendon to the couch to let him sit. Brendon sagged onto Pete who patted his head.

          “Poor Brenny. Did that mean airline hurt you?” Brendon couldn’t even glare and burrowed further into his side. Spencer, dragging Ryan, dropped the sleepy man onto the couch next to Brendon and sat on the arm of the couch.

          “I think it’s time we all turn in. Big days ahead” William’s dad stood up, stretching before moving over to William and shaking him awake. “Come on, Bill,” he said, helping William to his feet. Without even opening his eyes, William rose and walked straight to the room he’d be staying in. They all told William’s dad goodnight and Jon and Spencer started up the stairs.

          “You guys heading to bed?” Pete asked, sliding out from under Brendon.

          “No, leave us,” Ryan said, half asleep.

          “Save yourself,” Brendon told him, and he laughed lightly. He was beyond glad to have his friends around for the weekend. He pulled the throw blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over their slumped forms. He needed to get to bed because tomorrow was a big day for everyone. The gang would finally be there in one place and Patrick and Avery would arrive at the house. He glanced back at Brendon and Ryan, comfortably tangled on the couch. He’d hoped that would have been him and his significant other. Unfortunately, he was beginning to think that whoever that was didn’t exist for him. Everyone else was paring off, but there he was, alone. He ascended the stairs and headed toward his temporary room, hoping desperately that he was wrong.

**Friday, August 1, 2019**

          The next morning came all too soon. Patrick woke up, disoriented, in his childhood bedroom, which housed most of his old things from his apartment in New York. When he and Avery had moved in together, Patrick had asked his mother if he could bring everything back, and she, of course, said yes. He could hear her moving around already downstairs and he glanced at his phone. It was nearly eight o’clock, and he knew she needed to be at work in thirty minutes. He flipped onto his back and looked over at Avery, who was sleeping soundly next to him. Avery’s arm lay over Patrick’s waist, which used to turn his stomach. The idea of anyone touching his stomach freaked him out, but Avery had never made him feel bad about his body. And when Patrick had decided to change his lifestyle and become healthier, Avery had supported him through every weight fluctuation. He honestly wouldn’t have made it through college without Avery.

          Patrick slowly removed himself from the bed and made his way downstairs to tell his mother goodbye before he and Avery left for William’s. He was going to see Pete today, and he couldn’t help the knot that had settled into his stomach overnight. He rounded the corner and found his mother pouring herself coffee into a travel mug.

          “Morning,” he said taking a seat at the small dining table, and his mother spun around and smiled at him.

          “Hi, honey, how’d you sleep?” She asked him as she gathered her things together.

          “Alright, when do you get off?” She hummed lightly while she poured him a cup of coffee.

          “I’ll be done around four, hopefully,” she smiled, handing him the coffee, “and I’m seeing John again tonight.” Patrick cringed slightly, but covered it with a smile. His mother deserved to find happiness. She wasn’t planning on spending her life alone, and it wasn’t like she was cheating. She hadn’t even started dating until last year. The loss of his father had hit both of them incredibly hard. He needed to go by and visit him at some point, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to take Avery. Avery knew his father had passed, but it wasn’t something he’d really talked about with him.

          “John sounds like a nice guy,” he said, sipping the steaming coffee. She hummed happily at him again and nodded.

          “He really is.” She stopped and turned to look at him. “And Avery is wonderful. He helped me paint the bathroom cabinets and cook the other day.” Patrick looked at her, frowning.

          “He really wants you to like him.”

          “I do,” she said quickly.

          “Yeah, when you’re not throwing Pete a party at the front door.” His mother sighed and came to sit with him at the table.

          “I know that probably didn’t look good, but I’ve known Pete since he was a little boy and I haven’t seen him in years,” she paused and looked critically at him. “He looks great, you know. Los Angeles was good to him.”

          “Seriously mom? I am not doing this, especially not with you. Pete is a memory to me now, and yes, I will have to see him this weekend, but it is only for William and Gabe. I am a different person. Pete and I will never be like we were,” he stopped, staring into his mug and lowering his voice. “I love Avery, mom, and I’m marrying him. He is everything I could have ever wanted. He’s smart, funny, gorgeous, and hugely successful, and he has an interest in me, who I am. He didn’t care about the baggage I came with.”

          “I’m not saying anything, Patrick. All I mean is that Pete has become a wonderful man. I told you that he and I kept in touch, and I know you spoke to Peter and Susan just last month. Your lives are too entangled to completely cut each other out.” She rose from the table and kissed Patrick’s forehead. “I love you, and I love anyone who makes you happy. But Pete is part of my family, as far as I’m concerned, and I won’t give up.”

          “Give up on what? He is not in my life anymore. My best friend would have called me on the anniversary of my dad’s death. He would have answered those drunk texts I used to send him. He would have flown to New York to win me back -.” His mother looked knowingly at him. “That’s not what I meant. Just stop. I am happy now, mom. I have a career in music, a beautiful townhouse in Manhattan, and a perfect fiancé. I have new friends that love me. I am not that fat kid from Chicago anymore.”

          “Oh, Patrick,” she said, reaching out to him, “you have never been anything but perfect, baby. I never looked at you that way, and neither did your friends here.” She said, emphasizing the part about friends, and he knew she meant Pete.

          “I need to get ready for William’s and pick up Gabe,” he said, rising from the dining table. “I’ll see you soon, mom.” She watched him put his mug into the sink and then head upstairs. Patrick heard her finally leave and sighed in relief. Today was going to start the longest weekend of his life. He made it back to his room and smiled at the sight of Avery’s 6’3” body spread diagonally across the bed. Everyone, other than William, Gabe, Ryan and Brendon would be meeting him for the first time in person. He needed to shower and then get him up, but Avery groaned looking over at him.

          “What time is it?” Avery was not a morning person.

          “It’s eight fifteen. We need showers before we pick up Gabe and move over to William’s.” Avery groaned again and buried his sandy blonde head into the pillow. “Okay, I’m getting in. There’s coffee downstairs if-.” Avery’s head popped up.

          “You’re getting in the shower?” Patrick nodded. “All naked?” Patrick laughed and nodded again. “Well, in that case, I think we should cut showering time in half for the environment or whatever,” he said and crawled out of bed.

          “No way, if you get in there with me, we both know there will be no cleaning.”

          “Not true, after we get down, literally, I will make sure we clean up. Now get naked and get in there.” Patrick rolled his eyes but pulled his shirt off anyway. Avery walked to him and wrapped his arms around Patrick’s waist. “that’s what I call the best part of waking up.”

          “You make beautiful music,” Patrick rolled his eyes, “and the best you can come up with is the Folger’s theme song?” Avery shrugged before lifting Patrick into his arms.

          “Hey, it’s early. Maybe you can inspire me. Naked. In the shower. Wet.” Patrick laughed all the way to the bathroom.

\---

          Pete stared at himself in the mirror after his shower, listening to everyone in the house move around to get ready for the day. He was not ready for the day, though he knew that Sunday was going to be the worst of it. Today and Saturday, he had William and Gabe’s big families to buffer his interactions with Patrick and his fiancé. Hell, he could spend the entire day with William’s parents easily. He’d known them nearly as long as he’d known Patrick’s. He knew, however, that he would at least see them today, see them being a happily engaged couple, and he knew that if Avery wanted him and Patrick to reconcile their old friendship, there was a good chance that he would be forced to speak to them.

          He frowned at himself in the mirror, his hair wet and plastered to his forehead. He knew he looked a little different than he used to. He’d started going to the gym in LA because that’s what everyone did and he didn’t want to fall back into his depression. Apparently exercise helped with anxiety, depression, and the whole other list of things Pete dealt with. He hadn’t really noticed his biceps or abs until he started getting an odd amount of looks when he went to the beach. Spencer told him that he’d gotten “really hot,” which Jon had merely nodded to in agreement. He was really flattered, honestly and it only spurred him on to keep taking care of himself. Then there were his tattoos. His half-sleeve from high school had, in six years, turned into two full sleeves, a circle of thorns around his chest and shoulders, a few more on his chest, legs, and back. He was covered now, and while he’d had some encounters in LA, not many people had seen him naked since he’d gotten them all. Of course, he couldn’t help but wonder what Patrick would think. He’d never been one to want a tattoo, but he’d never given Pete shit about his. He never told Pete if he liked them either, but Pete wasn’t going to cry for validation about something that made him happy.

          He rolled his eyes at his own reflection and walked out of the bathroom.

          “Damn,” Pete heard Brendon say and he turned to look at him. Brendon looked him up and down. “You look good, dude. Like really fucking good.” Pete shook his head and laughed.

          “Thanks, Bren, you too.” Brendon shook his head.

          “No, but really. I can’t believe I didn’t feel you up on the couch.”

          “Was I really that ugly in high school?”

          “What? No! It’s just – yeah. You look good. Patrick is going to flip when he sees you.”

          “Brendon, shut the fuck up,” Ryan said, exiting the bedroom nearest him and kissing the other man’s cheek. “Good to see you, man.” Pete smiled at him, glad he’d interrupted when he did. “Getting dressed? Gabe will be here soon for his precious brunch that he had to have.” Pete realized that Ryan and Brendon were both dressed in nice pants and button downs, and he felt even more naked in only his towel.

          “Yeah, I’m doing that right now. I lost track of time.” Ryan didn’t reply, but he looked like he understood. Brendon did not.

          “Jerking it, huh?”

          “Brendon! Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Pete laughed despite his down mood. Brendon always knew how to bring a smile to his face.

          “Well, last night, some hot guy couldn’t keep his hands off me, even though his boyfriend was with him. I couldn’t help thinking about him.”

          “If you think telling me that is going to scare me away, you are dead wrong,” Brendon ogled him as he laughed and left Ryan and his loudmouth boyfriend in the hallway. After he shut the door behind him, he sagged heavily against it. He could physically feel his depression seeping back in, but he couldn’t let it affect him. William and Gabe were counting on him to keep it together today and just because the (maybe) love of his life was here with the love of his didn’t mean anything. He needed to find a blow dryer, fix the mop on his head and get dressed as quickly as he could before 10 AM. Gabe had insisted on a massive brunch, outside at a long-ass table, with more mimosas than any of them could drink. Because his insomnia came back in full force last night, he knew that the workers and William’s dad had been up since 7AM setting up and cooking. He rifled through his bags for underwear and socks; his navy pants and white button down were hanging in the garment bag he’d brought. He wanted more than anything to crawl back into bed and hide under the covers until everyone left on Sunday, but it was already 9:45 and Gabe would be there any minute.

          He quickly did his hair, not bothering to actually style it, letting it sit natural and slightly wavy on his head. He threw his clothes on and tied his dark brown dress shoes. He would have preferred to wear all black today, but he was reminded by Ryan, a fellow wearer of dark colors, that he was not at a funeral and it was summer. His body would thank him for not sweating to death. He did one more run through in the bathroom, checking his hair and straightening his shirt when the door downstairs opened. He heard Gabe babbling about how beautiful the front of the house looked and asking where his groom-to-be was. He sighed and considered locking himself in the bathroom and faking sick. If Gabe was there, it meant that Patrick and Avery had arrived. He groaned aloud and thought back to when he told William he wouldn’t be bringing a date. Idiot, he thought. A knock of the open door grabbed his attention. It was Brendon, but he had no jokes to offer him.

          “Everyone is here,” he said meaningfully, and Pete nodded.

          “I heard,” he smiled tightly, “on my way.” Brendon paused in the doorway before finally leaving Pete alone and making his way downstairs. Pete braced his hands on the wall and looked at himself once more in the mirror. He told himself that he could do this, and he’d been through worse.

          Still, he wondered if he actually had.

\---

          Patrick and Avery followed the large group outside, saying hello to everyone on the way. Patrick began searching for his name at the table and found that he had a prime seat, next to Gabe at the head of the table, which meant… William would be next to Gabe at the end and Pete would be directly in front of Patrick. The entire morning had been difficult for Patrick, even with the distraction of Avery in the shower. He’d tried on multiple outfits and realized that he looked like he was getting ready for a date. Avery had watched him silently from the bed, already dressed, before telling him on outfit six that Gabe was waiting for them. So there he was in tan pants (that he thought made his ass look huge) and a pale blue shirt (that made his skin look even paler). Avery had complimented him numerous times on the way to William’s, but it had done nothing to calm him. He slid into his seat at the extra-long and wide table, which was covered with flowers and more food than Patrick had ever seen on one table. Gabe and William could not stop touching, even as they took their seats at the head of the table. Avery smiled at him and gripped his hand under the table, squeezing it reassuringly. Patrick had been overjoyed to see Andy and Joe and was glad that they were across the table from him, wanting to introduce them to Avery. As everyone settled into their seats, Patrick heard the back door to the house open and close, and he knew exactly who it was, but he could not bring himself to look up.

          Pete hurried along the grass up to the table, shaking hands and hugging people on his way to his seat. He’d avoided looking at Patrick so far, but he knew he needed to be the bigger man for once and take the initiative. He passed Joe and Andy, who sat next to him, and sat quickly in his seat next to William before finally looking up. There he was, in person, after the longest six years of Pete’s life. And he was just as perfect as he’d always been. Pete noticed that he looked even thinner in person than in all his photos. Patrick still hadn’t looked at him, but he needed him to, needed Patrick to acknowledge him.

          “Patrick,” he said quietly, hoping not to disturb the whole table with their interaction. Patrick slowly looked over to him, and Pete couldn’t believe he was still breathing. “It’s so good to see you, man.” He smiled softly at him, holding back the elation he felt at seeing the other man again. Patrick nodded and began to speak before stopping and clearing his throat.

          “You too, Pete.” And it was music to his fucking ears. It’d been so long since he’d heard his name from Patrick. He stared for too long, he knew, but finally found the strength to look at Avery and extended a hand across the table, which caught the attention of the two grooms.

          “Avery, good to see you again,” he said politely and Avery grabbed his hand without malice.

          “Yeah, you too,” he said and shook Pete’s hand, not bothering to squeeze it threateningly. Pete released his hand and glanced at Patrick once more seeing surprise on his face. “So, what do you do, Pete?” Avery asked him after a moment, and Pete couldn’t help his sudden annoyance. How nice was he supposed to be to the guy that was marrying Patrick? At that thought he looked for Patrick’s left hand, but found that it was hidden under the table, out of sight.

          “I work at a record label,” he said, but William laughed.

          “Pete’s being modest,” William said and Pete wished he would shut up. “He actually started his own label last year.” Avery’s brows shot up.

          “Really? That’s great,” Avery said sincerely. “What’s the name?”

          “Decaydance,” Pete said, a little embarrassed for the first time of his tiny label. “I’m moving it to Chicago, actually, to focus on smaller acts.” Avery nodded enthusiastically.

          “That’s awesome. I knew that Brendon was working for a label out there and a guy named Pete, but I didn’t realize that was you,” he said and Pete nodded, smiling down the table at Brendon. “I think there is a need for indie labels that really care about their artists.”

          “Thanks, it’s kind of my special pet project. Not a big deal, really,” he said, self-deprecatingly.

          “No, it’s a huge deal,” William bragged on him once again. Pete shrugged and smiled his tight smile at Avery once more.

          “I would ask what you do, but I’m pretty sure everyone knows you. You’re a great producer,” Pete said honestly because Avery was talented, much to Pete’s chagrin. Avery looked down at his plate, bashfully.

          “Thanks, I appreciate that. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky with everything. If it weren’t for that Halsey album, I’d be unemployed.” He laughed and Pete forced a laugh to join him. He really wanted Patrick to say something, but he remained unwaveringly silent.

          “Well, you’re good, man, really,” Pete looked at Patrick, who was drinking his mimosa quickly. “And your album was perfect.” Patrick glanced at Pete, wondering who he was speaking to and choked on his drink when he saw Pete looking at him. Avery clapped Patrick on his back while Patrick coughed and sputtered. Patrick glared at Gabe, who was staring at the wedding band on his own left hand like it was brand new to him.

          “Thanks,” Patrick stuttered over a cough, “I didn’t know anyone had heard it.” Pete shook his head, same old Patrick, he thought.

          “Of course I heard it,” he said, reaching for his own glass, “it’s not every day that someone you know puts out an album. Track 8 is my favorite.” He took a drink and reveled a little at Patrick’s shock. As far as he knew, Pete was completely over everything.

          “Thank you, that was a favorite of mine, too.” Pete nodded and began eating, letting the conversation fall to others. He was proud of himself for keeping his emotions so controlled. He did find himself staring at Patrick sometimes when he wasn’t looking, but for the most part, he’d been normal and casual. Later, when they finished brunch and began separating into different activities outside, Pete made sure to maintain distance from Patrick and Avery, but not so much that he looked to be avoiding them. He was pushed into a game of corn hole with Gabe’s mother, Gabe, and William and he lost sight of them for the first time. He had to force himself not to panic about their proximity. He’d be walking down the aisle with Patrick tomorrow and that was definitely not something he wanted to think about.

\---

          Patrick watched Pete toss the small bean bags toward the incline board on the other side of the yard. Every time he landed on the board, Gabe’s mother would cheer and clap her hands, which he had to admit was adorable. What wasn’t adorable was the way Pete’s pants stretched over his ass when he leaned forward to throw and the strain of the white fabric across his tan skin. He could see the faint outlines of his tattoos under the thin shirt, which fit his strong arms a little too well. Patrick could punch himself for staring at him so much when he had a model of a fiancé right next to him. Avery was one of the most handsome men he’d ever seen, but he couldn’t stop looking at the other man. Avery was right when he’d said that Pete was “crazy hot” with all his tattoos and his arms…

          “Honey,” Patrick looked at Avery and saw that he, Joe, and Andy were staring at him. Someone had asked him a question and he’d been caught staring at Pete. Shit.

          “Yeah, sorry, what’s up?” Andy stared at him and Patrick knew exactly what he was thinking.

          “Joe asked if you were working on another album.”

          “Oh, uh, yeah, kind of. I’ve got a lot of music I hate. I’m having trouble with the words. My lyrics just aren’t cutting it lately, but I can’t seem to write any music I like anyway, so even if I had the words... nothing to put them to, you know?” Avery was looking at him now, and Patrick was sure that he was going to ask him about Pete.

          “Well, Joe and I were messing around with some stuff the other day, and we were wondering if you would be up for a brief reunion at the wedding tomorrow. A surprise for Gabe and Bill.” Patrick was going to give Andy the nicest “fuck no” he could muster, but Avery interrupted.

          “That would be incredible. I’ve always wanted to hear your old band play,” he said, excitedly and Patrick knew he needed to say yes. There was a good chance that Avery was going to see something between him and Pete, and find out his secret at some point, so he had to appease him as much as possible.

          “Uh, what does Pete think?”

          “We haven’t asked him yet. He hasn’t picked up a bass in a few years that I know of, but we might be able to convince him if we’re all on board.” Patrick looked between Joe and Andy and back to Avery.

          “Yeah,” he said, “that should be fun.”

          “Awesome,” Joe said and continued talking to Avery and Andy while Patrick checked out again. He and Pete hadn’t been in the same room in six years let alone played together. The last time they had played, Pete had laid his head on Patrick’s shoulder while he sang, and Patrick had stood still with a guitar covering his midsection. He found himself thinking about what Pete thought of his new figure. He’d lost thirty pounds after moving to New York, because he walked everywhere and got a part time job walking people’s dogs to pay for food. He hadn’t realized how small he’d gotten until Gabe burst in on him in the shower. Gabe had stopped dead in front of the shower, Patrick had shouted, and Gabe had told him that he looked like a toothpick… he wasn’t going to lie, it had felt good. Now, he had Pete in the flesh, looking better than ever, and he wanted to know if Pete liked what he saw now. He’d never understood how someone could be attracted to him before, but Avery and, unbelievably Pete, had. He looked back over at Pete and found him at the outdoor bar, having a glass of champagne with one of Gabe’s relatives and Travis. He laughed, teeth gleaming white.

          On the other side of William’s backyard, Pete had put as much focus as possible on the game of cornhole. If he so much as glanced in Patrick’s direction, he’d be lost. He knew that Patrick and Avery were moving through the party, and he also knew that everyone liked Avery. He’d hear Avery’s deep voice and Patrick’s sharp laugh followed by a collective laughter through their audience. He remembered when he and Patrick had been the duo making rounds at parties and causing their friends to laugh until they cried. Pete threw his final bag, knowing all he needed was to make it on the board to win. The blue bag skid across the board and came to a stop, dangling on the edge. Gabe mother whooped and threw her arms around him. He laughed and hugged her back, looking over her shoulder and finally catching sight of Patrick. He didn’t know what he’d hoped for, but he was disappointed to find that Patrick wasn’t looking at him. He watched Avery run a hand over Patrick’s shoulder in a comforting manner, and Patrick looked up at Avery, smiling nervously. Andy and Joe were talking their ears off about something, but he couldn’t make out their words. Gabe threw up his hands as his mother came over to him, smiling even though he lost. Pete needed to get his head out of his ass because this weekend was about Gabe and William, not him and his high school drama. Two of his closest friends were getting married and all he could do was stare at the ring on Avery’s finger. Patrick’s left hand was still in hiding, currently stuffed in his pocket. Jon, who had come up behind him, threw an arm around Pete and turned them so their backs were to Patrick.

          “Come on,” he said, “let’s go chat.” Pete let Jon lead him through the yard, toward the in-ground pool next to the pool house. If Pete looked around Jon, he’d be able to look directly at Patrick. Jon, not letting Pete dwell, took him straight to the pool house steps and sat him down. He stood to the side, making sure all Pete could see was Jon and the table where they’d had breakfast.

          “I know, I know,” Pete started, “I’m an asshole for not focusing on Bill and Gabe. I’m staring. I’m -.”

          “You’re doing great,” Jon cut him, surprising him. Pete squinted up at him, sun in his face. “You are. You’ve been invaluable to Gabe and William; you’ve been nothing but gracious to Avery; you’ve humored Gabe’s mother at every fucking turn… You’ve grown up, Pete, as much as you refuse to believe that.”

          “I don’t feel grown up. I feel like I’m seventeen and trying to get Patrick to notice me and ask me to the fucking prom.” Jon huffed out a laugh and sat down next to him. Jon looked up and saw Patrick, partially hidden behind his fiancé.

          “I have to say, I’m surprised. I always just assumed that one day you guys would be doing this, too,” he said gesturing at the wedding party. “Maybe not to this extent, but you know. I just can’t believe that he’s getting married, and it’s not to you.”

          “If you’re trying to make me feel better, it’s not working.”

          “I’m not trying to make you feel better. I’m trying to get your head out of your ass so that you can enjoy this weekend with our friends. We haven’t all been together like this in a long time.” Jon paused for a minute, “Patrick is happy with Avery, and they are getting married. Maybe it’s time you let go of the enormous fucking torch you’re carrying for him and move on. You refuse to date or meet anyone, but maybe it’s time.” Jon laughed lightly and Pete frowned at him, confused as to what could possibly be funny. “Sorry, I just – I’m the biggest Peterick fan out there, and here I am telling you to find someone else. I want you to be happy, too, Pete.” He let his hand fall on Pete’s shoulder and rested it there before finding his feet again.

          “I’ll think about it,” Pete told him, but he still didn’t get up.

          “What’s up?”

          “Uh – shit. I know we just had this great moment about moving on, but do you think that Patrick – has he noticed that – fuck. Never mind.” Pete stood up and dusted off the back of his pants.

          “Patrick has absolutely noticed how hot you are, if that’s what you’re wondering. He watched you play cornhole for a bit. And Avery,” Jon laughed and threw his arm around Pete again, “Avery apparently told Patrick that you were ‘crazy hot’. Perks of dating a semi-reformed gossip, I still know everything.” Pete looked down in an effort to stifle his smile and let Jon tug him back to the party. As they moved through the guests, Pete took a final glance in Patrick’s direction. Patrick wasn’t paying attention to him. He was laughing at something Gabe said, and Pete watched as he ran his hand subconsciously over his hair. Pete wondered if Gabe was telling him something similar to what Jon had said. Was Gabe telling him that Pete couldn’t stop staring at him? Or that he couldn’t get over just how good he looked in those tan pants? Or that he wished Avery would disappear and leave Patrick for him? Pete rolled his eyes at his own internal dialogue and rejoined the crowd.

\---

          The party had dwindled down around four in the afternoon, an hour after a large lunch was served, and most of the family had moved inside to visit in the air conditioning. Gabe and William were back in their seats at the head of the table, shirt sleeves rolled up, and William’s arm draped over the back of Gabe’s chair while they discussed what to do for dinner. Brendon and Jon were at the opposite end of the table having a mini argument about something ridiculous, as usual, while Ryan and Spencer sat in comfortable silence a few seats away. Travis had set up his wireless speaker to play music, which filled the empty air left by the family. Patrick and Avery were taking the down time to bring their bags from the main house into the pool house, and Pete sat next to Joe and Andy as they tried to convince him to get the band together again.

          “I don’t know guys,” Pete said, taking a pull from his beer “I haven’t played the bass in a couple years. And I doubt Patrick would agree to this.”

          “He already did.”

          “What?”

          “He already did. We talked to him a few hours ago, and he said he was in if you were.” Pete was shocked, and it took him a minute to recover.

          “Still,’ he said, taking another, longer drink, “I don’t think I remember all the basslines and Patrick won’t remember the words after all this time.” He was trying to get out of it and Joe and Andy were aware of that, but Pete couldn’t imagine playing music with Patrick again. Music had been at the root of their bond; Patrick had been the only one he’d trusted his words to, but now, Patrick had music of his own, and a world class producer on his arm. He was sure Avery wouldn’t think too highly of their high school band. He shouldn’t give a shit about what Avery thought, but he found himself wanting Avery to be as intimidated by him as he was of Avery.

          “Dude, it’s not like we’re recording anything. This is just a little reunion in honor of the grooms,” Andy tried to reason with him, but Pete still couldn’t imagine trying to make music next to Patrick.

          “What would we even play?” Pete asked, glancing back at William and Gabe, who were still absorbed in their own conversation.

          “Well, we could ask Patrick what he remembers and go from there.”

          “Ask Patrick what?” Pete looked up as Avery and Patrick sat down across from them.

          Joe leaned forward and told him, “what songs you remember from high school.” Patrick nodded, and without looking at Pete, answered him.

          “All of them.” Pete would have choked on his beer if he’d taken a drink. He couldn’t imagine Patrick would remember the words he’d written. His answer did not phase Joe and Andy, however.

          “Great, so we’ll choose a couple and surprise them at the reception.” Pete listened to Joe and Andy’s suggestions for song choices, but he was still reeling. Patrick had confidently told them that he remembered all of the songs Fall Out Boy had played together. Pete stared at Patrick, but Patrick never let his eyes wander from Joe and Andy. Avery’s voice shocked Pete out of his stupor.

          “This is awesome. Patrick’s never played anything from your band for me, and I’m psyched to hear some of your stuff.” Pete did his best not to glower at the man. “I know Pete, you wrote most of the lyrics, right?” Pete, again, did his best not to glower.

          “Yeah,” he paused, “well, kind of. I wrote some bullshit, gave it to Patrick, and he made it better, but we all contributed.” Pete picked up his beer and took a long drink when Avery laughed at what he perceived to be a joke, but Pete wasn’t laughing. Joe and Andy launched into a story about how the band worked and who did what, and Patrick finally looked at Pete. They maintained eye contact for longer than anyone else would have been comfortable with, but it didn’t bother them. Pete was struck suddenly with nostalgia for high school again; he missed Patrick being his best friend and his round face and his nervous body language. This man, looking at him now, felt so fucking far away. His face was all angles now, and his body was slenderer than it’d ever been. Pete remembered the intense attraction he’d felt to Patrick before, and it spread through him again. He was beginning to think it had nothing to do with Patrick’s appearance. Pete had gone on a few dates early on in college with heavier set guys and thinner ones, but he found them all lacking. But it didn’t matter what Patrick looked like, Pete realized now, it was that he’d never want anyone as much as he wanted Patrick. That scared the shit out of him. He felt he was doomed to be alone because no one could ever measure up.

          Patrick tore his eyes from Pete’s face and tried to focus on Joe and Andy. Avery was still listening intently, laughing and nodding; he wanted so badly for Patrick’s friends to like him, to be a part of Patrick’s past. And that honestly broke Patrick’s heart. Avery was the ideal man for anyone: gorgeous, funny, kind, sensitive, open, and talented as hell, but Patrick wasn’t obsessing over how nicely Avery filled out his shirt. He was looking at his short, over-the-top ex-best friend, and almost, maybe boyfriend. For some reason, the only thing he could think about was the night he’d gone to Pete’s, glaringly mad, drenched from the rain, and they’d grinded in the foyer. Patrick could feel the heat rise in his face and knew he was turning red. He’d had many, many climactic nights with Avery in their years together, but none of them made him blush like the memory of him and Pete rutting against each other in their jeans on the hardwood floor. He stared at the buttons of Avery’s shirt, trying to stifle his obvious reaction.

          “Patrick?” Joe was calling him, and for the second time today he’d been caught thinking of someone other than his fiancé.

          “Yeah, sorry?” Joe stared at him for a minute before continuing.

          “What do you think about ‘G.I.N.A.S.F.S.’? The last song we did,” Joe said casually, but the look on his face was incredibly serious.

          “What’s it about?” Avery asked. Patrick began to answer him, but Pete beat him to it.

          “It’s a love song,” he said and drank the last of his beer. Patrick looked sharply at him once more because, _a love song_? Pete didn’t admit to writing love songs. He said he wrote songs about people he knew and the feelings they inspired in him. They were never as simple as love songs.

          “Really? Anyone here?” Avery asked, laughing, and Pete looked at him surprised and angry. How dare this guy ask him that. Patrick was obviously… Unless Patrick hadn’t told Avery the whole story, Pete thought. One side-eyed glance in Patrick’s direction told him he was right. Pete couldn’t believe he’d had such a small effect on Patrick – or maybe Patrick was ashamed of him. Either way, Avery didn’t know about his relationship with Patrick. A part of him wanted to announce to Avery that he and Patrick had always been a bit more than friends, but the bigger part of him wanted to make sure Patrick remained happy.

          “It didn’t work out, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Patrick looked at him, pleadingly. “Turns out I was in love, and he wasn’t.”

          “That’s – I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to be an ass,” Avery said. Pete shook his head and leaned back in to his seat.

          “It’s alright. You didn’t know,” Pete knew Patrick was still looking at him, but he wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of making eye contact. “It hurt like a bitch, but I don’t ever want to forget it.” Pete surprised himself, and he was sure everyone else, at his bold and honest words.

          “One that got away?” Avery asked, gently, still not wanting to be too brash, but his curiosity was winning over. Patrick hadn’t told him that Pete had been in love with someone when they’d parted ways, and he wondered if that person was the reason they weren’t friends anymore.

          Pete laughed, “yeah, I guess. Went and hitched his wagon to a much better looking horse, as they say.” Avery snorted at this and looked embarrassed.

          “Sorry, just,” Avery’s eyes darted to Patrick, “I doubt that. I don’t know you personally, but from what Patrick has told me about you, whatever guy dumped you was kind of an idiot.” Pete felt his ego inflate, remembering what Jon had told him earlier.

          “Not an idiot,” he said, pushing out of his seat, “just looking for something else, I guess.” He turned to Joe and Andy, “I’m going to grab another beer and find Travis. Let me know what songs you want to do, and we’ll figure something out.” Pete was so damn proud of himself for keeping it together so well. Avery had no idea that the “idiot” who broke Pete’s heart was currently wearing his engagement ring. A ring that Pete had yet to lay eyes on. As he walked away from the table, he could feel Patrick’s eyes burning a hole in his back. He had a feeling that he and Patrick would be having a one-on-one conversation before the day ended.

\---

          “Bye, guys,” Gabe said from the doorway, “try to have fun without us.” He pulled the door closed, leaving his friends lounging in Bill’s living room. Around six in the evening, Gabe had announced that he and William would be taking their parents out to dinner at seven. Pete had taken it upon himself as the best man to find a reservation somewhere in the city for them, but it had been difficult; they had to drive about an hour to a place on the outskirts of the city just to find an opening on a Friday night, which meant that the rest of them were out of luck if they wanted to eat out, and Pete told them as much.

          “We could just crash at the diner like we used to,” Jon volunteered.

          “It’ll be full of high schoolers,” Ryan said with distain and Brendon snorted.

          “We were in high school once,” he said. Ryan rolled his eyes and made a face at Brendon.

          “Obviously, but not anymore. There’s got to be a place that serves good food around here that won’t be packed.” Brendon shook his head.

          “New York made you snobby. Stop it,” Brendon leaned into the other man, and Ryan didn’t bother responding. Avery cleared his throat from his place on the couch.

          “I could make something,” he said sheepishly, and Pete frowned at him.

          “You cook?” he asked, “for this many people?” Avery nodded.

          “Yeah, my mom is a cook and she owns her own catering company. I worked with her when I was in high school, so I’ve cooked for more people than this. I’d just need to stop by the store -.”

          “That’s not – you don’t have to do that.” Pete couldn’t stand it. Avery seemed to be good at everything, and it was thoroughly pissing Pete off.

          “It’s really not a problem. I’d like to, and I have Patrick here to help me.” Pete opened his mouth and closed it quickly. They cooked together; how nice. “Does anyone have any requests or allergies?” Avery stood. No one spoke up other than to say that whatever Avery made would be fine. Patrick stood quickly and followed Avery to the door, saying nothing and looking mostly at the ground. After they waved the men off and closed the door, Spencer laid into Pete.

          “Holy shit. How much do you fucking hate him?” Brendon snorted at Spencer’s words, and Jon didn’t bother to look scandalized. There wasn’t a day that Spencer wasn’t one hundred percent blunt. “No, but I mean, come on. He’s this insanely hot and sensitive producer who cooks. I didn’t believe he was real until I met him.” Pete glared at Spencer.

          “I don’t have a problem with him, Spencer.”

          “Bullshit.”

          “I don’t,” he snapped back. “He’s Patrick’s fiancé and that is it. I have no feelings about either of them.” Pete turned and went for the kitchen. He knew Spencer hadn’t meant any harm. If anything, he was just being as honest as Pete wished he could be. He didn’t hate Avery, though. It was hard to hate the other man because he was such a good guy. He reminded Pete of Jon, actually, because no one could dislike him either. What he hated was that Avery had something he didn’t, and that was Patrick. He didn’t know when, but they would be married soon enough, and any chance he’d ever had with Patrick would be gone forever. All he knew was that he wouldn’t warrant an invitation. Pete rubbed his hands over his face roughly and moved to the refrigerator, helping himself to another beer. Two more days, he thought, and he’d no longer have to see them. Two more days, and he’d probably never see Patrick again. Or at least not until another wedding.

\---

          When Avery and Patrick returned, Jon volunteered himself and Spencer to help carry in the groceries and set up in the kitchen. Spencer had grumbled under his breath at Jon as he lugged bags in from the car, but he kept quiet for the most part. After he’d pissed Pete off enough to go brood on his own, Spencer felt bad for being so tactless. Jon smiled at him when Spencer slammed the bags onto the counter, and Spencer rolled his eyes. He meant what he said, even if he’d been a dick about it, and no amount of lash-batting from Jon was going to make him sorry. Avery entered behind them and immediately got to work. Jon looked at Spencer meaningfully before gesturing at Avery’s back, and Spencer shook his head. Jon repeated his action more firmly, and Spencer shook his head again. Before Jon could try again, Patrick was setting the last of the bags on the counter, and he looked at the two men, who tried to appear innocent, and Patrick moved on to help Avery.  Jon glared at Spencer now and pointed aggressively at Avery. Spencer nearly gave himself whiplash as he responded, shaking his head. Jon opened his mouth to speak and Spencer threw his hands up in defeat. They could play this game all night. Jon smirked at him and received the finger in return.

“What can we help with, Avery?” Spencer said, sweetly, and Jon snorted quietly as he unpacked the grocery bags. It was going to be a long night in Bill’s house.

As they began cooking, Pete stewed silently in an armchair in the formal living room, nursing his drink. He mused that no one had ever used the room. It was just something rich people had to show that they were rich. His parents had one, too, and he wondered what he would do with that room now that they were gone… He was doing his best to ignore the sounds coming from the kitchen, but as he finished his beer, he had nothing left to distract himself. He could faintly hear Avery’s voice, Patrick’s laugh, Spencer’s loud complaints, and though he couldn’t hear Jon, Pete knew that he was the only one who could keep Spencer in the kitchen. For some reason, he began thinking about when he and Patrick watched his parents cook, and they’d had that food fight. Pete hoped no one would walk by the dim living room and see him sitting in the dark like a creep, but as was his luck…

Brendon and Ryan passed by him, and Brendon jumped in the air, clutching his chest dramatically when he caught sight of Pete.

“Jesus Christ, Pete!” Ryan laughed at Brendon and flipped on the light to the living room. “What the fuck are you doing, you killer? You scared the shit out of me!” Brendon followed Ryan into the room, and Pete only needed to see them for a moment in the light to realize where they’d just come from. Brendon’s messy hair and Ryan’s wrinkled shirt told him that they had just been upstairs having a much better time than him. Ryan stood in front of Pete as he slumped in his seat, and rolled his eyes.

“Get up,” he said, “you were doing so well today and now you’re sitting in a dark room, alone, getting drunk, while they’re in there doing domestic shit right in front of you.” When Pete didn’t respond, Ryan continued, “seriously, get up, Pete. Get in there and help in the kitchen. Show Patrick what he’s missing, and give Avery some fucking competition.” Pete laughed sharply at that.

“You sound like Spencer,” he said bitterly and more than a little tipsy, “Patrick doesn’t miss me, and I can’t fucking compete with Avery. He’s – he’s fucking great and I,” he lowered his voice, “I really want to hate him.” Pete laughed again at Spencer’s spot-on observation, and Ryan backed away from him. Brendon, who had apparently recovered from his scare, hauled Pete up by the arm.

“Come on, Pete,” he said, “you wanted to be the bigger man this weekend. I can tell. But you can’t do that sitting in a dark room like a fucking serial killer.” Brendon released Pete’s arm and ushered him to the doorway with Ryan following close behind. Pete could feel all the alcohol he’d consumed that day making him lightheaded as they moved quickly into the den where everyone sat, waiting for dinner. Whatever they were making, he was displeased to admit, smelled great. No one paid them much mind as they entered the room, and Brendon shoved Pete through the room and toward the kitchen.

“Get it together,” he whispered to Pete as he pushed him. By the time Pete caught himself and turned to glare at them, Brendon and Ryan were already seated on the couch next to Travis. They didn’t spare him a glance as they joined in on Travis and Andy’s conversation, so he huffed and turned back to the kitchen. He ran his hands over his hair and straightened his shirt. He knew he looked terrible and wished Ryan and Brendon had left him be in that room alone. He slowly entered the kitchen to see Spencer leaning over the counter watching Patrick dice vegetables, and Jon was helping Avery at the stove, following Avery’s every order. He took another deep breath before making his presence known.

“Anything I can help with?” he asked. Patrick looked up quickly and stared at him, surprised, and Spencer sighed and sat up.

“Thank god, I’m exhausted. You can take my place,” Spencer said and slid off his stool. He smiled at Pete and patted him tentatively on the shoulder.

“Pete!” Avery called over the sound of frying pans, “grab a knife, man, and give Patrick a hand.” Jon was suspiciously quiet and didn’t even look at him, continuing to stir a pot to his left. Patrick was still staring at him, and he was starting to get self-conscious, thinking he must look even worse than he’d thought. He pushed away from the doorway and circled the island to grab a knife from one of the drawers before moving to stand next to Patrick. Wordlessly, Patrick set a red pepper in front of him and got back to chopping. Pete copied Patrick’s motions and every other moment, his elbow would brush Patrick’s. The kitchen was quiet except for the sounds of cooking and the soft commands from Avery to Jon.

When Pete finished, he reached across Patrick for another pepper, and Patrick slammed his knife down, “what the fuck are you doing?” Pete stepped back in surprise as Patrick glared viciously at him. Avery and Jon turned, startled and stared at them.

          “I’m helping you-.” Patrick barked out a laugh, cutting him off.

          “How the fuck are you helping?” Avery stepped forward, but Jon stopped him with a soft hand on his arm. “The only thing you are is in the way.” Pete stepped back from him again, feeling like he’d been punched; feeling like he was seventeen years old again and Patrick had just told him that he was seeing someone.

          “Patrick,” he said quietly.

          “Get out,” Patrick leveled and began dicing again. Pete couldn’t look at Avery or Jon who were openly gawking at them, and he set the knife down and moved slowly out of the kitchen, embarrassed. As he left he could hear Avery’s, “what the fuck was that?” to Patrick. He passed everyone in the den quickly and rushed upstairs to his room, locking the door behind him. He felt like a fucking idiot for even trying. What did he think was going to happen? Did he think that Patrick was going to see him cutting up fucking vegetables and leave his fiancé? He stripped off his shoes, dress pants, and button down, feeling more ridiculous than ever. He crawled into bed and closed his eyes. Tomorrow, his best friends were getting married, and Sunday, he’d see them off to start their new lives together. He pulled the comforter over his head and buried himself. He just needed to sleep today off and try again tomorrow.

\---

          Patrick had been dreading the conversation he’d have to have with Avery when everyone turned in for bed. He was angry at himself for reacting the way he did, and he knew when Pete wasn’t at dinner that he’d made a mistake. He wasn’t sure what to tell Avery when he asked what happened. It was easy to shrug him off in the kitchen with Jon around, and of course, Avery wasn’t going to bring it up at dinner. Jon had gone to tell Pete dinner was ready, but he came back to tell them that Pete wasn’t feeling well. Avery had stared a hole into the side of his head for the entirety of their meal, and Patrick had spent that time trying to think of something to say. He could come clean and tell him the truth or he could keep lying to his future husband about the closest thing he’d had to a relationship in the past.

          He spent extra time in the kitchen with Andy cleaning the dishes and chatting about Andy’s job, which he didn’t seem to like very much. However, he could only stall so long, and before he was ready, Andy was off to bed. When he got out to the pool house, he found Avery, still fully dressed, sitting on the couch, waiting for him. When Patrick closed the door behind him, he leaned against the glass and waited, and after an awkwardly long silence, Avery looked up at him.

          “So?” he paused for Patrick to speak, but he only shrugged and moved away from the door. “Patrick, stop. What the hell happened earlier?”

          “It was nothing. I just got annoyed with Pete. I told you that he and I aren’t friends anymore and haven’t been for a long time.”

          “That was more than getting annoyed with someone in the kitchen, Patrick. I’ve never seen you act that way before. What happened between the two of you? You never told me why you stopped being friends. And you sure as hell didn’t tell me that there was so much animosity on your side,” Avery was angry with him, but it didn’t stop Patrick from continuing to act unaffected.

          “We just lost touch, Avery,” he sighed, “There is no animosity on my part. I told you, I just lost my temper. I didn’t realize that would upset Pete so much.” Avery laughed.

          “Bullshit. You are lying to me about something, and you’ve been lying for a while. Why is it that I know everything about Joe and Andy, Gabe and Bill, and all your other friends, but I didn’t even know Pete’s last name until recently? He was your best friend, and you refuse to talk about him,” Avery stood up and blocked Patrick from leaving the room. “Now, tell me the truth. What happened between you two?” Patrick could barely look at him.

          “Can we do this another time? It’s late, I’m tired, and we have a big day tomorrow.”

          “No, we can’t. Tell me.” Patrick stared straight ahead at Avery’s crossed arms. “Now, Patrick.”

          “Okay, okay. Please, just, sit.” Avery quickly moved back to the couch and sat toward the center, and Patrick sat down slowly, as far from him as he could. “Pete was my best friend. Not just in high school, but for as long as I can remember. We were in the same class in kindergarten.” Already Patrick could feel Avery tense up because he hadn’t even known that small detail. As far as Avery knew, Patrick and Pete had been friends in middle school, grew closer in high school, and then fell apart. He had no idea just how much their lives intertwined. “I – I don’t want to give you all the details because we’d be here all night.” Still Patrick didn’t look at Avery, more than afraid of the man’s reaction.

          “Our parents became friends, too, and we spent almost every minute together. It was like having a second family. We had holiday dinners together, went on vacations together… His parents gave me that apartment in New York and the studio. Pete’s family is well-off, like William’s,” he knew he was avoiding getting to the bad stuff. Avery didn’t care if Pete had money or not, but he would care when Patrick told him that they’d nearly dated. “Anyway, um, I always sort of, um,” he rolled his eyes, huffing out a breath, “I always had feelings for Pete. He was the first person I told when I realized I was gay. He was – he was my first kiss. I was fourteen and freaked out. After that kiss, I couldn’t help but think of him a little differently. He was always – always really – shit. This is harder than I thought it would be.” Avery didn’t say anything, but he did reach out for his hand, and when Patrick finally glanced at his face, he saw only acceptance.

          “Pete’s always been good-looking. I, well, you remember what I looked like when you met me. He was out of my league. Just like you were – are,” he laughed, and Avery squeezed his hand, signaling that he didn’t like that. “Pete always had a boyfriend or someone he was dating or sleeping with, and I was always single. I don’t remember when I fell in love with him,” Patrick said quickly, and Avery suddenly pulled back, but kept Patrick’s hand in his.

          “In love with him?” Avery asked him, “wait, is it you? Are you the one Pete said ‘got away’?” Patrick nodded.

          “We never – we never dated or anything. But he told me he loved me, and I never said it back, but then I kind of did. When my dad died, Pete and I had been in an awful fight, but I needed him, and he showed up without question, and he was there for me. I wouldn’t have made it through without him. Neither would my mother. We nearly got together after that, but I was hurting and afraid to let anyone that close. Afraid I lose him if I let him in. I didn’t understand what he saw in me… I still don’t. I knew I was leaving for New York, but Pete didn’t have a plan. Hell, I didn’t think he’d even applied to any colleges.

          “We parted on bad terms, just stopped talking. The last time we talked was over four years ago on New Year’s. Pete called, drunk, and he -.”

          “I remember that. That was the first New Year’s we spent together. You got that phone call and went out on the balcony. We missed midnight,” he said angrily, dropping Patrick’s hand, “you told me it was your mother.”

          “I know, but I didn’t want to upset you over nothing…”

          “If it was nothing, you would have told me! How many times have you lied about him?” Patrick didn’t answer right away, and Avery pushed off the couch putting his back to Patrick. “Do you still have feelings for him? Is that why you didn’t tell me?”

          “Avery…”

          “Do you still have feelings for him?” Avery yelled.

          “I don’t know!” Patrick shouted back. “I mean, no, I don’t think so. This is just the first time I’ve seen him, and I never really dealt with what happened. It’s just difficult -.”

          “It’s not. It’s not difficult,” Avery shook his head, “I feel like a fucking fool. He’s probably been laughing at me this whole time, trying to be his friend. I told him I wanted you two to make up! Now, I know what that really means.”

          “He’s not laughing at you, Avery. No one is. You didn’t know! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but when we met, I was trying to put this town and him as far behind me as I could.”

          “I don’t know what to do with this. You obviously feel something for him, and it’s more than fucking residual. I let the staring this morning slide because he is handsome, and I couldn’t blame you, and I let you be distracted by him all afternoon because it had been so long since you’d seen him. But your outburst in the kitchen, and the fact that he couldn’t stand to be around you at dinner says everything.”

          “Avery, I told you I lost my temper -.”

          “Stop fucking lying to me!”

          “I’m not lying! I love you, and I’m marrying you. I don’t want to be with him anymore. He is my past, and you -.”

          “If you say I’m your future, I swear to God, I’ll call this engagement off,” Avery spat. “I feel like a goddamn idiot. I practically worshiped the ground he walked on today!” Avery kicked his suitcase and it skid across the room, hitting the bathroom door. He dropped into a chair across from the couch. “He told me,” he said quietly, realizing suddenly.

          “What? He told you what?” Patrick didn’t move, afraid to set Avery off even more.

          “He told me that he had written a song for someone he loved, the one that got away, and he said that the guy had moved on to someone better. He was talking about you and me, wasn’t he? And I called that guy an idiot – but it was you, and I’m actually the idiot.” Avery laughed and shook his head again. “He’s still in love with you. Anyone can see that if they’re paying attention, and now I am.”

          “Avery, Pete is not in love with me. I’m not sure that he ever was. I think I was just his closest friend, and I was there to put up with his bullshit when no one else was. I could tell Pete was going to miss high school and this town more than anyone else. He was afraid we would fall apart, and he tended to obsess over things to an unhealthy degree. That’s it. Pete doesn’t love me, at least not anymore, if ever.”

          “You’re wrong,” Avery smiled sadly at him, “he did. He does. It takes one to know one, and that’s coming from someone who loves you.” Patrick could feel the lump in his throat swell.

          “Avery, please. Just come to bed. I love you, and I want to be with you. I want to marry you, and I want to spend my life with you,” he sat on the edge of the couch, ready to go to him, but Avery didn’t speak for a long time. When he finally did, Patrick nearly jumped in surprise.

          “I need some time to think about this. You go to bed. We’ll talk later,” Patrick stood to stop Avery from leaving the pool house, but he didn’t reach him before the door closed behind him. Patrick watched him walk up to the main house and sit on the porch. He wasn’t sure if he should follow him or give him the time he asked for. They’d never fought to the point that Avery would leave. He went back to the couch and sat down, waiting for Avery to come back inside, so they would fix things before the wedding. Before they saw Pete again.

          He fell asleep, slumped on the couch, and Avery didn’t come back into the pool house.

**Saturday, August 2, 2019**

          The next morning, Patrick was being shaken awake by an overjoyed Gabe. His face only inches from Patrick’s, Gabe yelled, “I’m getting fucking married today!” Patrick cringed back from him and shifted uncomfortably. He’d slept in his button down and slacks and groaned when he moved his back to straighten from its previously slumped position. Gabe moved back and jumped around the pool house in excitement in his purple satin pajamas. Patrick tried to smile, but he grimaced instead. He felt like absolute shit, and as the events of the previous day flooded back to him, he groaned again.

          “I do not care how hungover you are,” Gabe laughed, “today is my wedding day, and you are my best man. You need to slap on a smile, look presentable, and get us some mimosas. A little hair of the dog will make you feel better.” Patrick shook his head.

          “I’m not hungover. I didn’t drink much last night, I just,” he paused, “I just fell asleep on the couch and fucked up my back.” Gabe hummed back at him and flopped onto the couch. He looked around the room, at Avery’s dented suitcase against the bathroom door and then at Patrick’s disheveled appearance.

          “Where’s Avery?” he asked, like he already knew the answer. Patrick ran a hand over his face and looked down at his wrinkled shirt.

          “He’s out. Let me get changed and get you that drink.” Patrick rushed into the bathroom, stepping over Avery’s suitcase. He tried to pull himself together, splashing water on his face and removing yesterday’s shirt. He pushed thoughts of Avery and Pete to the back of his mind. He couldn’t be selfish today because he needed to be there for Gabe and William. He dried his face and opened the bathroom door to find Gabe leaning against the door frame; he’d moved Avery’s suitcase out of the way, and he held Patrick’s clothes in his hands.

          “Patrick, get dressed and get a drink with me,” he handed the clothes off and wandered to the front door. “I’ll be waiting out here, and you can tell me all about your fight with Avery.” Patrick went to argue, but Gabe was already gone.

          “I really wish people would stop walking out on me.”

\---

          It was close to noon, and the photographer would be there at three o’clock to begin their wedding photos. Instead of getting ready for the happiest day of his life, Gabe was making drinks for Patrick and himself so they could talk about Patrick’s problems because Gabe just couldn’t leave it alone. He knew after being in the pool house for two minutes that Patrick and Avery had a fight, and he’d be willing to bet it was about Pete. He couldn’t decide if he was happy or not. He liked Avery, a lot, but the truth was, Gabe was still rooting for Pete and Patrick to get it together. He’d nearly talked Patrick out of marrying the guy when they first got engaged. After putting so much of his energy into getting Pete’s head out of his ass, he was a little pissed that they weren’t together.

          He’d noticed the change in Pete during their final year of college when he’d told Gabe about starting his label after he graduated. Pete had finally gotten himself together and decided on a future, and Gabe knew that Avery and Patrick were getting serious, so, in a last-ditch effort, he invited Pete to New York. He figured the only way to get them together was to put them in the same room, and shit, that didn’t end well.

**May 2017**

          Gabe was a little pissed off. He’d invited Patrick to a party at his favorite bar, and of course, Avery had tagged along, which normally wouldn’t bother him, but this time definitely did. The party wasn’t exactly for a reason, but he called it a graduation party, and it had come about because he knew it would be too obvious to lock Pete and Patrick in a closet. He’d convinced William to have the party at one of his dad’s clubs, so they wouldn’t be crammed into Gabe’s tiny apartment. He needed that security deposit back, after all, and having all of his friends in his studio would have ensured its destruction. So, in hopes of making his actual mission look like a happy accident, Gabe had invited everyone. Brendon and Ryan were there in all their dating bliss; Spencer and Jon were arguing happily, which Gabe would never understand. Even Joe and Andy had made it. Gabe had invited pretty much everyone he knew in New York, just to fill the room, creating the most innocent façade of a party to hide his real motive. William had rolled his eyes at him when he’d told him of his plan, but he already knew that Gabe tended to go big with everything in his life, so a party with the intention of reuniting two people was no big surprise.

          Pete was pacing in the back of the bar, alone, and Gabe was trying to find a way to get Patrick alone, but Avery was not helping, sticking close to his side. The music was too damn loud, and he was getting too fucking annoyed with everyone when William found him.

          “So, how’s that plan working out?” he asked with a laugh. He took a drink from his glass, and Gabe smiled briefly at the ring on his left hand that matched Gabe’s own. They’d been engaged for five months, but it still felt new. He snatched the drink from him and downed it.

          “Shitty,” he shouted over the music. “I wasn’t expecting the roadblock,” he gestured toward Patrick and Avery. William rolled his eyes and took his empty glass back.

          “They are dating, you know. Maybe you should just leave it alone, Gabe. Patrick is happy, and Pete is finally getting to a better place,” he said, but Gabe shook his head.

          “No, this is not how this goes,” Gabe looked back at Patrick and saw him laugh loudly at something Joe said, “besides, Patrick’s not that happy!” William only shook his head and planted a kiss to Gabe’s temple.

          “I love you,” he said. Gabe grabbed William’s face to lay a harsh kiss on him.

          “You too, baby, now get the fuck out of my way. I’m going to turn on the magic.” William only nodded, amused, and left him to his mission. Gabe found Pete in the back of the club, stopped his pacing, and took his drink before Pete could get too tipsy. “Are you nervous? To see him again?” Pete nodded quickly.

          “Yeah,” Pete answered, “do you think he’ll be angry that I came?” Gabe shook his head, but honestly, he didn’t know. He hadn’t told Pete about his plan, only that he was having a party for everyone, and Patrick would be there. He told Pete to tell Patrick that he still loved him, but Pete hadn’t responded. So, he decided to try again.

          “No, I think he’ll be happy to see you! And,” he said, “you can tell him that you still love him, and you two can be happy. I’m sick of this back and forth shit. If Brendon and Ryan can get it together after their shit show, so can the two of you.” Pete pulled away from him, but Gabe grabbed his arms. “I’m serious, Pete. This is a good opportunity for you. Let me go get him, and you guys can talk.”

          “Gabe, that’s not a good idea. I don’t even know what to say.”

          “Actually, it’s my best idea of all time, and it was my idea to ask William to be my boyfriend. Now look at how fucking happy we are. When have I ever steered you wrong?” Gabe didn’t stick around to hear Pete’s response, and he moved quickly through the hordes of people, wondering when he’d made so many friends. He was nearly to Patrick when he heard the music cut out, and Avery’s voice filter through the speakers.

          “Hello, oh shit, that’s loud,” Avery laughed into the microphone, “um, hi everybody, my name is Avery Levine, and I’m interrupting for a very good reason if you’ll just give me a moment.” Gabe’s breath caught in his throat, and he rushed to Patrick, afraid of what was about to happen.

          “Patrick, I need to talk to you right now,” he said, and Patrick turned to him, ready to listen.

          “Patrick,” Avery spoke, and Gabe panicked, pulling at Patrick’s arm, but Patrick grabbed his hand, eyes on Avery now.

          “Just a minute, Gabe,” he said and moved toward Avery on the stage. Gabe couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe that he’d invited Pete to see this.

          “Patrick, hey. Everyone, this is Patrick, my boyfriend, who you probably already know” Avery helped Patrick up onto the stage next to him, and Gabe turned quickly to find Pete again. He needed to shut this whole thing down, but he couldn’t find him. Avery continued as he searched, “um, so, we met four years ago, and after begging for six months, I finally got to take you out on a date. I’m pretty sure I was already in love with you by then. I don’t want to drag this out any longer than I already have, and I hope I don’t have to beg again for six months to get another yes from you.” Gabe stopped searching for a moment and looked back at the stage where Avery was dropping to one knee. “Patrick, will you marry me?” Gabe could hear random people shouting ‘yes’ and began searching once more.

          He found him, far too late, standing near the fire exit. Pete was staring unwaveringly at the stage, and Gabe watched him as he heard Patrick’s ‘yes’ from the stage and everyone began to cheer. Pete stood so still that Gabe thought he’d turned to wax before he calmly set his drink down, pulled his hood over his head, and pushed through the celebration to the front door, where the rain poured down. Only Gabe saw him.

          He raced to Pete, but by the time he’d made it outside, Pete was gone, and Gabe wouldn’t hear from him again for two months. Pete sounded fine on the phone when he finally called, and they never spoke about it again.

**Saturday, August 2, 2019**

          Gabe was partially done with his first drink when Patrick found him. He looked better than he had ten minutes ago, but not by much, and Gabe handed him the drink he’d made and moved over on the bench to make room for him. Patrick sat tentatively and took a sip of his drink.

         “Shit, Gabe, that is practically straight vodka.”

         “Well, this isn’t a talk for champagne,” he said, “now, what happened?”

         “Nothing happened, I told you. Shouldn’t we get ready for the photographer?” Gabe shook his head and finished off his drink.

          “Nope. It’s my wedding day,” he said and took Patrick’s drink from him, “and right now, I want to talk about this.” He drank most of it before handing it back to him.

          “Gabe.”

          “Patrick.”

          Patrick rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, finishing the little bit of vodka and melted ice in his cup like a shot. “Avery asked about Pete; I told him the truth, and he said he wanted to think about things. He didn’t come back.”

          “Shit.”

          “Yep,” Patrick said, “he thinks Pete is in love with me.” Gabe snorted.

          “Duh, he totally is.” Patrick looked sharply at him. “Don’t look so surprised, Patrick. We’ve talked about this before, and I’m honestly not in the mood for a long ass conversation about you two today.” Patrick gawked as he continued, “Pete is still in love with you, and he always will be because you are the love of his life. And you still love him, despite whatever bullshit you’re spouting lately. I know you love Avery, but this is different. I told you in middle school, in high school, in college, and I’m telling you again: you two are fucking made for each other. Do with that information what you will.” Gabe stood now and pulled Patrick up with him. “Now, any other day, I would dedicate all my time to getting you two together, but today is my day. I am marrying the love of _my_ life, and as much as I’d like to see you and Pete do the same, I’m not dealing with this.”

           “Gabe, I – I don’t know what to say, but I wouldn’t ruin this day. Ever. I am here to be your best man and watch my friends get married.” Gabe nodded smiled at him.

          “Good! Now, the photographer will be here in less than two hours, and I’m not ready, and you look awful. Come on!” Patrick followed him inside, unable to do much else in light of their brief and one-sided chat.

\---

            “Gabe, William,” Spencer called, “you guys are going to have to stop making out if you want your picture taken.”

           It was three thirty, and the wedding party was standing around the backyard while the photographer, Ashley, and her assistant called out for different groups. Gabe’s mother and William’s parents had their photos taken with the grooms first, and they now sat inside waiting for the ceremony to begin. The groomsmen were still standing around in the heat, waiting to get the photoshoot over with, but Gabe and William shared a spot on the porch stairs and could not stop kissing. Gabe had demanded that he and William both wear shining and dramatic white suits while their groomsmen wore dark gray, so they wouldn’t ‘out-do the grooms’.

          “That’s alright,” Ashley said, “let’s get some of just the groomsmen for now.” She directed them to split into groups based on which groom they would stand with. Gabe’s side included Patrick, Ryan, and Brendon, and William had Pete, Jon, and Spencer. The couple didn’t want to play favorites with the groomsmen, so Gabe had told William to pick a couple and he’d take the other. The six men lined up for their photo, and so far, Pete and Patrick had avoided each other. They stayed on opposite sides of the photo, and with the other four men in between them, they could almost pretend things were normal.

          “Alright, great, guys,” she took several shots from different angles before changing them up, “Just a minute, I need to switch my memory cards. We’ll get just the best men next, okay?” She moved over to her equipment bag, and the four-man barrier that once protected Patrick was gone. Pete was already moving toward him, but like a gift from above, Gabe slid in between them, William close behind. When the photographer returned, she laughed. “I see we broke the grooms apart for the moment. This is good. We’ll get a few of you with your groomsmen, your best men, and then alone.” Patrick let go of the breath he was holding and wrapped his arm around Gabe’s back tightly and thankfully. When she finished with them, she pulled the groomsmen back in to pose with Gabe and William, and after another twenty minutes, she put down her camera.

          “Okay, I think that’s all of them,” she said, and Patrick was ecstatic. She had forgotten about the best man photo, but as she was moving back to her equipment, flipping through the pictures on her camera, she stopped and turned around quickly. “Nope, sorry! I forgot about the best men,” she laughed, “can I get you guys together quickly?” Patrick wanted to disappear, and Gabe couldn’t save him this time. He had said he wouldn’t spend his wedding day stuck up Patrick’s ass, so he needed to get over himself and take the fucking picture. Patrick stayed where he was and let Pete come to him. He didn’t look over at him, but he could feel him standing close to his right side and slightly behind him.

          “Just a second!” Gabe shouted and rushed over to them. He pretended to fix Patrick’s tie and dust Pete’s shoulders of imaginary dust, and he whispered, “okay, listen up. I am going to look back on this day as the happiest one of my life. I want the photos to reflect that. So, you will smile, you will laugh, and you will act like the bestest of besties for the next two fucking minutes. Got it?” He didn’t wait for them to answer before traipsing back to William. Patrick felt Pete’s arm slip over his shoulders cautiously, and he felt like he did when he’d charged to Pete’s house in the rain seven years before: mad as hell, turned on, and more confused than ever. Patrick brought his hand up to rest on Pete’s shoulder as well and put on the widest grin he could muster. He assumed Pete must be doing the same because the photographer was encouraging them and snapping pictures quickly.

          “These are great guys, but you look a little tense,” she smiled kindly at them, “remember your closest friends are getting married today!” Patrick wanted to roll his eyes because he didn’t know how many times he heard that he was tense in the last five hours. He dropped his shoulders and tried to smile more brightly when he felt Pete’s arm slip down to his side and dig into the spot just between his lower ribs, and Patrick jumped, a laugh bubbling up immediately. That was the one ticklish spot he had, and Pete was one of the few people who knew about it. Patrick’s dad had done it to him on a vacation one year when Pete had joined them; Patrick had been sulking a bit for the photos, so his dad found a way to make him laugh, and Pete had begun to follow his example after that, much to Patrick’s annoyance.

          “There we go! That was a great one!” She continued taking shots of them, and Patrick looked at Pete, surprised he’d done it and that he’d even remembered. Pete was smiling kindly at him, and he couldn’t help but smile back. He let Pete leave his hand curled around his ribs as he tightened his arm around Pete’s shoulders. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed having someone who knew him so well around. Normally when he didn’t want his picture taken, Avery would just give up, but Pete knew exactly how to get him to not only take the picture but enjoy it, too. “Perfect guys, really. We’re all set. I’ve got everything for now.” She went to Gabe and William to discuss pictures for the ceremony and reception, leaving the best men alone.

          Pete pulled away from him, “sorry about that.” Patrick shook his head quickly, smoothing the imaginary wrinkles in his lapel.

          “No, it’s fine,” he started, but before he could continue, Jon was there grabbing Pete around the neck.

          “Dude, come here. You’ve got to see this girl singing at the bar Gabe and Bill went to last night. She’s so good,” Jon pulled at Pete, who smiled tightly now at Patrick and allowed himself to be pulled away. Patrick was relieved that the photos were over and other than sharing a table with him at the reception, Patrick was done having to deal with Pete for the day. He still wasn’t able to think about what Gabe had said earlier that morning. Pete was supposedly in love with him, still, and apparently, Patrick was putting out similar vibes. He still hadn’t seen Avery, but he knew that Ryan had seen him on the couch in the den, and later, Patrick saw that Avery’s dress clothes were gone. He guessed that Avery was hiding in William’s enormous house somewhere, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he was supposed to wait for Avery to come to him. He looked briefly at Pete watching a video on Gabe’s phone in Jon’s hands before moving to the main house. If he had to wait on Avery, deal with Pete, and be the ‘best best man’, he needed a little liquid courage.

\---

           By four thirty, all of William and Gabe’s guests were seated and waiting for the ceremony to begin, except Avery. He finally approached Patrick in the pool house where Gabe and his groomsmen were staying until the ceremony. He pulled Patrick to the side and asked him to sit with him. They sank to the floor, ignoring their recently pressed suits, and Patrick waited a little longer for Avery to finally speak to him.

            “I’m sorry,” Avery started, “I didn’t mean to take so long, but I figured out what I want.” He turned to Patrick before continuing, “I want to be with you. But I need to know that you want me and only me. I’ve been here before. This girl I was dating for two years was still in love with her ex, and it didn’t end well for us, so I need to know that I’m the only one you want to be with.” Patrick was surprised because he hadn’t known that; he knew that Avery was bi, but he had no clue that he’d had a serious relationship before him.

          “You are!” Patrick said quickly, but Avery shook his head.

          “No, I need to be sure, and I can’t be unless there are no feelings left for him. And you can’t tell me there aren’t any when you haven’t spoken to him.”

           “I have spoken to him, and it was bad, Avery.”

           “I want you to talk to him,” Avery ignored him, “and after that, if you can tell me that you are sure about me, then we can forget about him and leave this behind us.”

          “What am I supposed to talk to him about?” Patrick was exasperated.

          “I don’t know. Whatever you two have been avoiding talking about. Just figure it out so we can go home and get married in December like we planned.” Avery grabbed his hand and pressed his lips to it before leaving him to find his seat outside. He watched him leave before getting up and joining Ryan on the couch.

          “Everything alright?” Ryan asked knowing the answer already.

           “Just Pete destroying my life without even trying again,” he said casually. Ryan laughed lightly.

          “Imagine if he actually was trying,” he said.

          “I don’t have to. I know I’d have been dead before we graduated high school,” Patrick joked. Gabe plopped onto the couch next to Patrick.

           “What are we talking about? Me, I hope. Or maybe my fabulous wedding. Or even my gorgeous soon-to-be husband,” he looked at Patrick, “surely not anything else only moments before I’m married, right?”

          “Right,” Patrick said firmly, but Gabe only rolled his eyes at him. “Gabe,” Patrick started, but Gabe held his hand up to stop him.

          “Nope, nope, nope. Not doing this, I said I wasn’t doing this today,” he looked angrily at Patrick, “do you know how fucking mad Bill would be if he knew I was meddling in your bullshit on our wedding day?” Patrick shook his head, and Gabe growled the answer, “really fucking mad.”

          “Okay,” Ryan said, standing, “I’m going to get Brendon away from the bar, and we’ll start lining up at the front. Let’s get you married, yeah?” Gabe waved his hand at Ryan, dismissing him. He sat silently as they watched Ryan through the window usher Brendon away from the bar just outside the door and pulled him to stand at the archway Gabe would be getting married under in fifteen minutes.

         “Fuck!” Gabe shouted suddenly, startling Patrick and some of the guests closest to the pool house. He turned to sit sideways on the couch, quickly facing Patrick. “I need to tell you something, and then, I’m seriously done. I mean it! I’m fucking done.” He took a breath to calm himself, “Pete was there when Avery proposed to you. I had that party to reunite you assholes, and when I finally convinced Pete to see you, Avery pulled you on stage and asked. Pete saw the whole thing, and he left after you said yes.” Patrick couldn’t believe it, and he shook his head.

        “No, that – I would have noticed him,” he argued. Gabe rolled his eyes at him again.

          “Shut up. He was there. You think he was done with you, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t answering your drunk texts because he was texting me to check on you. He didn’t call you on the anniversary of your dad’s passing because he was calling me to check on you. Every birthday you had, he helped me plan. Every milestone you had with Avery, he would call me, drunk or high, and tell me to make sure you were happy. And when your album came out, he called me to make sure I had listened to it and loved it.” He paused and ran a hand over his face, “I don’t know how many times I need to tell you how much he does for you before you believe he’s a good man.”

         “I know he’s a good man,” Patrick said.

         “Then what’s the fucking problem in believing -.”

        “Because I never understood why he’d do those kind of things for me!” Patrick stood up, “he could have anybody.”

        “He doesn’t want anybody,” he rose from the couch, “Jesus Christ, he wants you. I’m fucking exhausted with this. I won’t tell you again, Patrick. He is in love with you. You’re both adults and in better places. Get your heads out of your asses, and do something about it.” Gabe moved to the door and opened it. “Now get out there and wait for my beautiful fucking vows, goddammit!” Patrick left quickly as Gabe’s voice rose and rushed to join Ryan and Brendon on Gabe’s side. Jon and Spencer already stood across from him, and if he looked toward the house, he’d see Pete rushing down the steps to stand next to Jon. Instead, he looked out at the sea of guests and found Avery sitting on the edge of the third to last aisle.

        Avery wasn’t looking at him, and Patrick didn’t need to look to know he was staring at Pete. He wasn’t sure what to do. If Gabe was telling the truth about Pete, then Patrick was the one who had left Pete behind, and not the other way around. He wondered if that changed his feelings toward Pete at all. Maybe he did need to talk to the other man and figure out what the hell was actually between them. The music signaling the beginning of the ceremony started, and Patrick found William and Gabe standing at the end of the aisle. He tried to picture himself there with Avery, but he found it difficult. Looking next to him and finding Pete standing within reach was something he was less than prepared for. Pete was watching William and Gabe, and Patrick knew he should be doing the same, but he couldn’t look away. He forced himself to put Avery where Pete was, but again, he couldn’t, and that scared the hell out of him because in just five months, he was supposed to marry him. Gabe’s back was suddenly blocking his view and he shook himself out of his trance. He glanced back over at Avery to see him looking back now, and of course, he’d been caught staring again.

He couldn’t imagine how long the day was going to be.

\---

The sun had begun to set by the time the ceremony ended, and people were slowly making their way to the temporary platform where the reception would be held. Inside the long white curtains was a dimly lit wooden floor with tables set for dinner, an open area for dancing, and a makeshift staging area. The moment Pete laid eyes on the stage, he remembered that he’d promised Joe and Andy that they’d perform for the newlyweds, and he cringed at the idea. Patrick had barely looked at him, let alone spoken to him, and he wasn’t sure how they could pull themselves together long enough to play. When Joe and Andy had approached him before the photos that morning and told him the two songs they were going to perform, he’d almost backed out because the thought of playing the closest things he’d ever written to love songs with the person those songs were about… he was trying _not_ to think about it.

He found his seat easily; he was next to William at the table furthest from the stage, and Jon and Spencer had already taken their places at the table. He moved around the guests, stopping to greet Patrick’s mother for a moment where she sat with her boyfriend before reaching the grooms’ table. Jon looked up at him, about to speak, but he stopped, looking behind Pete.

“Can we talk?” Pete heard Patrick’s voice behind him, and he turned slowly to find Patrick looking at him, or more accurately, at his shoulder. Pete didn’t say anything, but he moved a step closer and nodded, which made Patrick turn quickly and walk out of the draped reception area. Pete looked behind him to Jon who only shrugged, and then suddenly, Avery was in view. Pete stared at him, but Avery didn’t glare or smile; he looked away instead, pretending like he hadn’t even seen him. Pete was seriously confused, but that didn’t stop him from leaving and following Patrick who he found after walking around the side enormous platform. Patrick was pacing in the fading sunlight, and the stringed lights woven inside the curtains were casting a warm illumination over the rest of the yard. Pete stopped several feet from Patrick, still unsure if this would end in another fight.

“Avery didn’t know.” Patrick said without looking at him, “he didn’t know about us, and he found out yesterday, and now he’s pissed. He told me I needed to talk to you.” Pete wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he just stared. Patrick glanced over at him, and huffed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “He told me that he thinks you have feelings for me and that I might still have them for you.” He looked at Pete again, who had even less to say than before. Patrick laughed a little and turned away from him. “I told him he was crazy, that you and I don’t even talk anymore. And then Gabe said some stuff to me today, and now I’m not sure about anything.” Finally, Pete had something to say.

“Fucking Gabe,” Pete hissed under his breath, and Patrick laughed again.

“Yeah,” he turned back to him again, “is it true?”     

“Is what true?”’

“Don’t,” he warned Pete, “don’t do that. This – this _relationship_ with you has been the most fucked up, weird _thing_ I’ve ever had to deal with.” Patrick sat down in the grass, his back to the curtains. “Gabe said you asked about me during college. He said you were in New York when Avery proposed.” Pete shook his head, thinking about murdering his friend when he returned from his honeymoon.

“Does it matter? All I did was make your life more difficult. You’re happy now with Avery.”

“I don’t know if it matters,” he said, “and that’s not all you did. You didn’t make my life difficult… I mean you did, but not in the way you think.” He looked up at Pete and laughed. “Can we just be honest with each other for five minutes? If I’m going to get any closure out of this, I need to be able to tell you the truth.”

“You can always be honest,” he said and moved to sit down next to Patrick in the grass. “And in the spirit of honesty - I thought this might happen.”

“What?”

“I thought we might have this conversation, and I’ve thought about talking to you so many times. I’ve thought about what I would say if we talked.” Patrick didn’t say anything, and Pete took that to mean that he should go ahead. “After high school, I knew you were ready to leave me behind -.”

“Pete.”

“No, don’t say anything yet. You wanted honesty, and I’ll give it to you,” he said, stopping him from interrupting again, “I knew you were ready to go, and I thought I needed to stop contacting you if you were going to be happy. It was hard not answering you with the texts, but you were drunk, and I knew you wouldn’t have sent them otherwise, so I started talking to Gabe about it if he promised not to tell you. I had a tough time letting go, so I spent most of my freshman year drinking, getting high, failing my classes, and sleeping with whoever would have me.” He could feel Patrick staring at him intently, but it didn’t stop him from continuing. “After Bill visited me that summer and screamed at me for a while, I got my shit together. I would call Gabe sometimes to check up on everyone, on you. Time went a little faster than I thought it would, but then we were graduating, and Gabe told me that he was getting everybody together again, and truthfully, I wanted to see you.

“Gabe told me that you were okay with me coming, and I thought if nothing else, we could maybe be friends again. I remember feeling so out of place in a room of my oldest friends, but I stayed anyway. I saw Avery get on stage, and I thought he was hot, but then he said your name, and I realized that he was the boyfriend Gabe had told me about, the one he told me wasn’t that serious. I saw you get onstage, and you were so different. You weren’t Trick anymore. He asked you, and you were so happy when you said yes, and I knew seeing me would only ruin your night, so I left. I left that club, booked a flight on the walk to my hotel, packed my shit, and left New York less than two hours later.” Patrick was stock still and silent next to him.

“I am,” Pete said, “still in love with you, I mean. I always have been and I always will be. You’re still the best friend I’ve ever had, and whether I see you again or not, that will not change. No one can ever have the effect on me that you’ve had. I don’t want you to marry Avery because I’m selfish, but I want you to be happy, and I know that’s with him, not me. I don’t know what you need for closure, but I’ll give it to you, whatever it is.” When Patrick still said nothing, Pete felt his anxiety creep up and spread. “So, did I just make things worse or…”

“Anything?”

“What?”

“You said you’d give me closure,” Patrick was closer than he remembered, “whatever it was.” Pete nodded. “Okay, can – fuck – can you just kiss me? I know that’s a fucked up thing to ask for, but I just think -.” Pete surged forward and grabbed Patrick’s neck, pulling him into the first kiss they’d shared since New Years’ Day six years ago. It was like their first kiss when they were fourteen, only backwards. The aggressive press of their lips become more tentative until they slowly broke apart. Patrick leaned back onto his hands and rolled his eyes. “Yep, that’s fucking great,” he said sarcastically, and Pete was confused.

“Um, sorry,” he said, “that was a little… too much, I guess.”

“You think?” Patrick nearly shouted at him. “Fuck! I knew that was going to happen. Goddammit.” Pete was definitely confused, and he made sure to tell Patrick that. “I knew when I asked you to kiss me that it was going to go exactly like this, and I still wanted it to happen,” he said angrily, “Avery is perfect. Do you realize just how perfect he is? He is like a character out of a fucking romance novel. He’s so smart and funny. He’s talented and passionate about the same things I am. He’s gorgeous! People don’t look like him in real life! And he’s so kind and understanding…” Patrick trailed off and laughed hysterically. “And the funniest part,” he wheezed, “is that I don’t even see him when you’re around. My own fucking fiancé disappears when you’re within a hundred feet of me.” Pete couldn’t believe what he was hearing; was Patrick saying that he felt the same way?

“He is great, Patrick. I know… That’s why I kind of hate him. Because he’s what I wanted to be for you.”

“You still don’t get it,” Patrick couldn’t stop laughing at how ridiculous his situation was. “I am dating _you_ , granted, a much saner and more put together you, but you all the same.”

“I don’t follow…”

“Smart and funny: you are brilliant, and I never laughed harder than I did with you. Talented and passionate about the same thing: music. Handsome: even Avery called me after you guys met to gush about your arms and tattoos, and he doesn’t do that. Kind and understanding: you are sitting here telling me that you’re in love with me, but if I don’t want you, that’s okay.” Patrick sighed and fell back onto his elbows in the grass, legs moving straight out in front of him. “And the awesome part is that Avery is great in bed, but one kiss with you, and I can’t even remember why I thought he was great.” Pete had never felt so elated, sick, and nervous in his life, and the combination of the three made him feel like he would pass out any minute.

“What are you trying to say?” Pete forced out.

“I’m saying that if I go in there and tell Avery that I don’t have feelings for you, I’d be lying; I’ve always been in love with you, and I guess I always will be, too,” he didn’t sound happy about it. “You bastard, you ruined me for him before I even met him.” Pete leaned back onto his elbows, too, getting on Patrick’s level.

“You love me.” It wasn’t a question, but Patrick answered him anyway, sensing his disbelief.

“Unfortunately,” he laughed, “sorry, I just – I’m engaged to a wonderful man, who I do love. But the entire time I was next to Gabe today, I couldn’t see Avery and myself there. To be honest, I’d never pictured it before, and when I tried, I couldn’t do it. And you were right there, and it was easy to see you there… I mean, you actually were there, but – you know what I mean.”

“I do.”

“Of course, you do. You know me better than anyone.”

“So, what do we do now?” Pete asked, and Patrick shrugged, sighing.

“I don’t know. I need to think,” he said glancing over at Pete, “because I can say I love you, but I’m still engaged to and in love with Avery.”

“Right,” he said, smiling, “are you going to make us fight it out? Maybe in Jell-O or something?” Patrick laughed suddenly.

“No, but ask me again later if I can’t make a decision. He might make it for me, actually.”

“So, I don’t get to try and win, then?” he asked carefully, not wanting to piss Patrick off.

“How exactly are you going to try and win?” he asked, amused.

“Well, we’ve got a couple songs to perform, and if I remember correctly, you used to get a little hot and bothered when I would get too close…” Patrick looked at him sharply.

“First, don’t do anything in front of Avery, especially not until I speak to him. Try and be a little respectful of him. And second – yes. You remember correctly,” he said, smirking. “Try and keep your hands to yourself.” Patrick got up quickly and looked down at Pete for a moment before moving to go back inside.

“Hey, Patrick,” Pete said, and Patrick was smiling when he turned around, “I was wrong earlier. You are still Trick, just all grown up… still have great thighs, though.” Patrick laughed again as he disappeared around the corner. By the time Pete got up and headed inside as well, Patrick was already out of sight. He pulled himself together as best as he could, but he couldn’t keep the grin off his face. He hoped Patrick would choose him, but at the moment, the fact that Pete was even in the running, was good enough for him.

\---

Joe was on the edge of his seat throughout the entire speech portion of the night, waiting to grab the microphone. Andy had to actually pull him back into his seat at one point during William’s father’s speech to keep him from interrupting. After a full seven minutes of William and Gabe hugging their parents tearfully, Joe snuck up the stage and finally claimed the mic.

“Uh, hey, Bill, Gabe, uhm,” he glanced behind him and saw Andy stepping up onto the stage and waved him over nervously. Andy suppressed a laugh and pushed up behind him to reach the mic.

“Hey, guys. We just wanted to tell you how happy we are for you, and we have a little surprise, so – yeah. Here it goes.” Andy stepped back to the drums set up to the side while Joe grabbed his guitar from the stage corner. Patrick and Pete joined them seconds later, and as Pete slid the bass strap around his neck, he couldn’t help but smile broadly. This would be the first time they’d played together in years. Patrick adjusted the microphone stand and glanced at Pete, who tried very hard not to be obvious. He knew Avery was out there somewhere, and it was important to Patrick that he didn’t upset the situation. Pete was willing to do anything to make this work out in his favor this time, so he kept his eyes set on his bass until Joe began the first song. Funny, it was the last song Pete had written for the band.

“Ah! Oh my God!” Pete heard Gabe shout, and he laughed just as Patrick began to sing. Pete tried to remain focused on playing his bass and not his super-hot ex-friend and possible future boyfriend through most of the song, and he did well until towards the end when he heard Joe spinning like a nut on the tiny stage and turned to look at him. His eyes fixed immediately on Patrick, who had also turned to look at Joe. All he could see was the back of his strained neck and the guitar strap digging into his back.

 _“I’m supposed to love you. I’m supposed to love you,_ ” Patrick turned back to the microphone, and he knew that Pete was staring at him, but he refused to look over. They only needed to make it through one more song and then he could duck out and talk to Avery. And he needed to make a decision about what he was going to do. He was engaged to the perfect man, with whom he shared an apartment in Manhattan, an extensive record collection, and two beta fish named after _Game of Thrones_ characters.

They finished the first song, and Gabe and William’s standing ovation took his mind off of Avery for at least a moment. Joe took a long bow at the head of the stage, and took another when everyone clapped for him. Patrick rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway. He missed this. He didn’t realize how much he preferred playing with these guys over being solo. Just then, Pete started up “Dance, Dance” and he had to sing again. He was grateful to Pete for doing as he’d asked by keeping his distance and respecting Avery. He could see Avery in his peripheral, but he couldn’t make out his expression, and he wasn’t about to look. He also couldn’t look at Pete because he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t move towards him or vice versa. Finally the song ended, and Gabe rushed to the front with William close behind. Gabe pulled him down from the stage and hugged him tightly, ignoring the guitar between them.

“Oh my God,” he whisper-yelled in his ears, “how fucking in love are you two?” Patrick suppressed a smile and pulled back just enough for Gabe to see him roll his eyes. Gabe didn’t let that deter him though, and he just grinned wider as he pulled away from him. Patrick moved at a slow pace to put the borrowed guitar up and return to the front of the stage where the DJ was setting up. He was dreading a discussion with Avery, but it had to happen. He thought maybe he could put it off a little longer by waiting until after the reception when everyone else was in bed. Knowing this crew, they’d party well into the morning, but he knew it wasn’t fair to Avery or Pete to put it off. In the end it would have to be his choice, and he didn’t want to hurt either of them. If he broke it off with Avery, he’d be leaving behind the person he’d committed to spend his life with. For the past six years, they’d spent all their time together, and he’d be breaking Avery’s heart and trust if he left him. He wasn’t sure he could do that. On the other hand, he’d loved Pete for most of his life, and he knew Pete was hoping that he’d pick him.

“Shit,” he cursed under his breath as he found his seat at the empty table. He waited silently while everyone moved back to their seats to wait for dinner to be served. A hand on his shoulder startled him and he whipped around. “Avery.”

“Hey,” he said, sitting next to Patrick, “you were great up there.” Patrick immediately felt himself begin to tear up, which was not the reaction he’d expected of himself. He nodded, afraid to speak. “I take it you talked to him.” It wasn’t a question, and he was well aware that Patrick and Pete had spoken. He nodded again, and Avery’s mouth quirked up quickly. “It’s not in my favor is it?” Patrick was choking on air, unable to breath.

“Can we,” he coughed, “can we talk later? After the reception?” Avery stared at him for a moment, but he finally nodded in agreement. He smiled tightly at him and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek, and Patrick was completely on edge. He couldn’t believe he was even thinking of doing this. He loved Avery, and he had made a commitment to him. He couldn’t do this to him. This was the man who had been totally upfront about his feelings for Patrick the entire time they’d been together. He was the one who’d liked him when he was chubby and quiet and helped him transform into the person he wanted to be. Plus, it was so much healthier than what he’d had with Pete. Maybe real love wasn’t supposed to be intense. Maybe it was supposed to be calm and easy.

Patrick found Pete across the room, talking to Jon and Spencer and just seeing him, knowing what he would have to do, made his chest ache. He should have never asked for that kiss; it was such a mistake, and now he had to tell one of them that he couldn’t be with him anymore. He needed to tell Pete that they weren’t right for each other, that they missed their time, and that he was happy with a wonderful man now. But that wasn’t as easy as it sounded, and he honestly, selfishly, wanted to keep them both. If someone had told his high school self that he’d have two great guys chasing him, he’d have asked what kind of drugs they were on. He dropped his eyes back to the table and wondered how the hell Pete continued to get him into these situations, even six years later. Avery was sitting tensely next to him, his hands tapping on the table, nervously. Patrick reached over without thinking and placed a hand on top of one of his, and Avery flipped his hand over and clasped them together, looking at Patrick. He looked confused at the gesture, and Patrick couldn’t fault him because as far as he was concerned, Patrick was gearing up to leave him. Patrick didn’t say anything or even smile, he just turned away and focused on the people around him instead.

Gabe was on his way back to the table to sit next to him with William in tow. He could see the waiters beginning to bring trays through the curtains, and he was thankful for another distraction. Gabe fell into his seat, bumping Patrick’s shoulder, grinning non-stop, and then he looked at Patrick’s hand holding Avery’s. He didn’t stop smiling completely, but Patrick could tell he was a little disappointed. He’d always rooted for him and Pete to end up together, but Gabe liked Avery. If he was who Patrick wanted to be with then he knew Gabe would accept it. When Pete settled into the seat next to William, Patrick couldn’t look at him, afraid to see Pete’s reaction to Avery’s hand in his own. Finally, plates of food were set on the table, and he released Avery’s hand to eat. He let Gabe and William’s mothers’ chatter about how beautiful the ceremony was occupy his mind as he ate. Avery was picking off his plate next to him, and Gabe barely touched his, but that was as far as he let his eyes wander.

“When’s the date for you two?” Patrick felt Gabe elbow him and he looked up quickly to see William’s mother looking between him and Avery. He coughed on a mouthful of salmon and reached for his glass of wine. He downed a good bit of it before glancing at Avery.

“We haven’t really set one,” Avery lied, and William’s mother smiled and told them to enjoy being engaged.

“The longer you’re engaged, the more you get to know each other, the easier the transition into married life,” she said looking happily at her husband. “We were engaged for five years.”

“So long?” Avery asked. William’s mother nodded. “And I’m surprised we were,” she laughed, “we were on and off more than I can remember. My parents didn’t think we’d make it with all the breaking up we did, but we loved each other.” William’s dad laughed and finished off the wine in his glass.

“So much it hurt, sometimes,” he said, “nobody got under my skin like this one.” William gagged loudly, and his mother rolled her eyes.

“I think that’s lovely. Gabriel and I only knew each other for four months before we were married,” Gabe’s mother spoke up. “Everyone thought we were crazy, but we knew there wasn’t anyone else for us.” Patrick looked to Gabe, wishing suddenly that both of their fathers were at the wedding. Gabe’s mother teared up and she laughed, excusing herself as she dabbed her eyes. “So sorry. I still get a little emotional when I think of him.” Gabe, in a rare moment of seriousness, told her that he loved her, and she teared up more even as she laughed and returned the sentiment.

“Well,” William’s mother spoke again, “I’m so glad our boys found each other at such a young age. When William told me at sixteen that he’d met the person he was going to marry, I’ll admit I was skeptical, but I suppose when you know, you know.” She brought her glass up to cheers her husband, and once again, Patrick was at a loss. He’d known. He’d known that Pete was the one he wanted to be with from a young age, but then everything had gone wrong, and he’d left for college. Then he met Avery, and after a few months with him, he had decided that this was who he had been waiting on. He wanted to bash his head on the table for even considering leaving Avery. A waiter came by to refill the glasses at the table, and he downed his before the young man could even move on. He looked wearily at Patrick as he filled his glass again. Even the damn wait staff could tell there was something wrong with him. Thankfully, the conversation turned from marriage to med school, and Gabe launched into what he was up to in school. Dinner continued and ended too quickly for Patrick’s liking, and before he knew it, Gabe and William’s older relatives began saying their goodbyes. The dance floor was full, and Gabe and William had left the table to dance nearly twenty minutes ago. He was sitting with Avery, Pete, and Gabe’s mother, and he thought he might throw up if he had to stay there any longer.

As a slow song started, he saw his chance. He’d ask Gabe’s mom to dance, and then -.

“Mrs. Saporta, would you like to dance?” Patrick saw Pete standing next to her, hand offered, and she smiled brightly, grabbing his hand. He led her to the dance floor, leaving Patrick and Avery behind, which didn’t solve any of the awkwardness Patrick was feeling. He knew Avery was just as tense as he was and he couldn’t think of anything to say in the moment that might diffuse the tension, but, like an angel, his mother put a hand on his shoulder.

“Mind if I steal my son for a dance?” she asked Avery. Patrick stared up at her, more thankful for her than he’d ever been before. Avery smiled at her and told her it was no problem as Patrick stood up and walked with her to a corner of the floor out of his view. He felt like a child who‘d gotten caught coloring on the walls by his mother, and he couldn’t look her in the eyes. “Patrick,” she said after a moment, “are you going to tell me what’s going on?” He didn’t answer her, unsure of what to say or what she would think of what he was doing. “Patrick, talk to me. I can tell that you’re struggling with something.” He stared at the necklace his father had given her on their sixteenth anniversary. After he still didn’t answer her, she said, “okay, does this have anything to do with Pete?” He nodded and felt the all too familiar lump in his throat. “Come on, honey, I’m your mother. I don’t care what’s going on in that head of yours. I love you no matter what.” He squeezed his eyes shut against the tears building, and nodded again.

“I was doing really well,” he started, “I was happy with Avery. Really happy and I was ready to marry him, but then Gabe had to open his mouth and tell me all this stuff about Pete. Then, Avery found out that Pete and I used to – not date, but that there was something going on. I had to talk to him about it; I couldn’t just leave it alone. So, I talked to him, and he told me all this – he just said everything that I wanted to hear, and I kissed him. And now,” he dropped his head, “mom, I don’t know what to do. I love Avery, and we have a life together in New York, but Pete is…” He didn’t finish, but his mother pulled him into a hug and continued to sway.

“I know,” was all she said, and he let himself be held by his mother for the first time since his father passed away. They didn’t speak, even as the next song started up and the tempo rose. His mother pulled back just enough to put her hands on his face and she smiled at him, wiping the tear tracks from his face that he didn’t even realize had fallen.

“I feel like a shitty person.”

“The fact that you feel that way tells me that you’re not. You are a wonderful man, and I am more proud of you than I could ever express. I can’t tell you what to do, only you can.”

“How did you know that it was dad? That he was the right person?”

“I just did,” she said, “I know that doesn’t help you, but it’s true. I just knew that I wanted to be with him all the time. Nobody made me feel so loved in my life, and even when I wanted to throw him out of a window, drag him up the stairs and do it again, I never stopped loving him.” He took a deep, shaky breath. “I do remember,” she said suddenly, smiling, “we were having this huge fight, I don’t even remember why, but we’d said some pretty nasty things to each other. Anyway, he called me one night from a payphone,” she laughed, “it was the seventies, and he told me that his car had broken down a mile from town, and he needed someone to pick him up. I was still so angry, and I asked him why he’d called me. He said, ‘this is the only number I have memorized,’ which was a lie. And then he asked me why I was still talking to him, and I told him that I didn’t know. I mean, I did, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. I showed up at his car less than twenty minutes later, and by the time we got to my house, he had me rolling laughing.” She smiled widely. “Nobody made me as happy as he did.”

Patrick wasn’t sure what to say to her, but for the second time that night, he wanted his father there.  He knew that she was content now with her partner, but that didn’t change the fact that she would never love anyone the way she loved his dad. “Did that help you at all?” she asked him, hopeful that she’d struck a chord with him. He nodded and hugged her tightly again.

“Thanks, mom.” She kissed his cheek as she pulled away. He still had no idea what to do, but he did know that none of them were going to come out of this unscathed.

\---

          Avery walked toward the pool house feeling more anxious than ever. After Patrick had disappeared with his mother, Avery had waited at their table for an hour before realizing that Patrick wasn’t coming back in. He waited another hour before heading to the pool house because he was pretty sure that he wasn’t going to like what he heard. As he moved up the front steps he could hear Patrick’s voice.

          “I can’t do this to him,” Patrick said, and Avery could tell that he was crying. “I love him, and we are engaged, and we have a life together. I can’t.”

          “Trick, you can’t do this.” Pete. Avery knew he should walk away, and wait his turn, but he couldn’t help himself. “You can’t finally tell me that you love me, get my hopes up and then walk away.”

          “I know! It’s not fair to anyone, and it’s my fault, but I can’t do this to him. Jesus Christ, up until a couple days ago, he didn’t even know about this and now I’m supposed to say, what? ‘Thanks for the past six years, but I’m going to leave you for my old best friend?’” Avery moved slowly to the side to peek into the window, and he could see Patrick and Pete standing on opposite sides of the room in the dim light. Patrick was practically sobbing, and Pete looked stoic, with his arms crossed over his chest.

          “Do you love me?” Pete asked him.

          “Yes! I told you, yes. I do. I have for longer than I can remember.”

          “Then I need for you to be honest with me. Remember? You wanted us to be honest. So, do it. Are you going to marry him?” Avery watched Patrick’s reaction carefully. He looked down and shrugged slightly before wiping his hands over his eyes aggressively.

          “I have to,” he said quietly, and Avery’s heart broke. Patrick didn’t want to marry him; he thought he had to.

          “No, you don’t!” Pete moved across the room so swiftly that Avery barely noticed him until he was standing in front of Patrick. “You don’t have to. I know you love him, and I know it’s a shitty thing to say, but I am a shitty, selfish person. I don’t want you to marry him. I want you to be with me like you’re supposed to be.” Patrick pulled away as Pete’s hands reached for him. “Please, Patrick.” Avery waited for Patrick’s response without breathing.

          “You don’t get it, Pete. Avery is everything I could ask for. He doesn’t deserve any of the shit I put him through.”

          “I know! I’m not saying that he’s a bad guy, Patrick. He’s fucking great and perfect, and I feel completely inferior next to him. But you told me that it was me. Just a few hours ago, you asked me to kiss you, and I did. And you said that you loved me.”

          “I know, and it was a mistake, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am to have dragged you into this again -.”

          “You didn’t drag me, Patrick! I told you that I will always love you. Forever. Period. Even if you leave here and marry him, I will love you. There is nothing you could ever do to make that go away. I loved you when we were kids, and I will love you when we are old and grey, whether you are with me or not. Trick, nobody makes me as happy as you do.” Patrick looked at him suddenly, and Avery could tell that a change had occurred. He could feel himself growing angrier, just thinking of Patrick asking Pete to kiss him and telling him that he loved him, but he couldn’t rush in. He needed to know what Patrick had to say.

“Pete,” he started, but he dissolved again before he could speak. Pete grabbed him and pulled him close. Avery watched as he and Patrick slowly sunk to the floor together while Patrick cried, and then he stepped back and planted himself on the steps of the pool house. He was livid and miserable and totally unsure of himself. The sad part of him wanted to wallow and cry on the steps, but the angrier part wanted to burst into the pool house, kick Pete’s ass and dump Patrick cold. He wasn’t sure how long he sat with his head in his hands, but he heard the door behind him creek open. He didn’t turn around, but he did lift his head as Pete stood frozen in the doorway. A beat later the door was closing, and Pete was slowly moving past him, but he stopped again when he was in the grass in front of the steps.

“He’s asleep on the couch,” he said without turning around. Avery wanted nothing more than to tell Pete to fuck off, but he felt partially responsible for the situation they were in. After finding out that Pete might have feelings for Patrick, he’d pushed his fiancé to talk to him. He couldn’t leave well enough alone. After Avery didn’t respond, Pete began to walk away.

“Pete.” The other man stopped a few paces away and waited for Avery to speak again. When he didn’t, Pete finally turned around, and Avery could see that his eyes were completely red and bloodshot. He looked dejected and as miserable as Avery felt. Pete shook his head and stared at the ground before turning away quickly and heading to the house. Avery hadn’t heard them speak again, but Pete was giving him the impression that Patrick had chosen Avery. He wiped his eyes, making sure that he looked mildly put together before going inside. Patrick was lying on the couch, asleep, with a blanket pulled over him and his shoes setting neatly by the arm of the couch. Avery removed his jacket and draped it over the back of the chair before crouching down next to Patrick.

“Patrick,” he said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Patrick, hey.”

“Pete,” he said, and Avery withdrew his hand like he’d been burned. Patrick’s swollen eyes opened and he tried to focus on the face in front of him. He sat up when he realized that Pete was gone. “Avery.” Avery pushed off the floor and back into a chair.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

They sat in silence for longer than Avery could stand, but he refused to be the one to speak first. Patrick was the one who needed to explain himself. “How long have you been here?” Avery shrugged looking at his own hands.

“How long have I been in the pool house, or how long did I eavesdrop on you and Pete?” He knew he was being kind of an asshole, but he thought he had every right to be one in this circumstance. “I just came in when Pete left, but I heard him say that you kissed him and said you loved him, so I guess, I’ve been here for a while.”

“Avery,” Patrick said, and Avery pushed up out the chair he was in. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“For what? For kissing him? For loving him? For telling him that you _had_ to marry me?”

“Everything. I’m sorry for all of it,” he said, “and I didn’t mean it like that. I want to marry you, Avery. I told you I did. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”

“Really? Because to me, it sounded exactly like that.” Patrick didn’t say anything, and they returned to silence once again. Avery finally sat down again, and Patrick took that to mean that he’d calmed down.

“I told him that I pick you,” he said so quietly that Avery barely heard him.

“You said that? You said, ‘I pick him’?”

“I told him that I loved you, that we have a life together…”

“Yeah, I heard all that.” Patrick leaned back against the couch and tried not to start crying again. Honestly, he was too exhausted to cry anymore.

“Avery, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too,” he said. He was still so angry at Patrick, but he felt partially guilty for asking Patrick to talk to Pete even when he’d said he didn’t want to. He wondered how the hell so much could happen in two days. “Patrick, I am so fucking angry at you, but – I love you, and I always told you that I want you to be happy.”

“What are you saying? I’m happy with you.”

“I know you are, and I was happy with you too, but I can’t marry you knowing that you’re in love with someone else. I deserve for someone to love me and only me.”

“Avery, wait -.”

“No. I’m making this decision for you, Patrick.”

“No, stop. Please don’t do this,” he said moving to kneel in front of Avery’s chair. Avery leaned forward and put his hands on Patrick’s face.

“I can’t marry you.” Patrick began sobbing and sagged toward the floor, and Avery’s anger took a backseat for a moment. “I love you, and I know you love me, but you don’t love me the way you love him. You couldn’t even give him a straight yes or no answer.”

“I want to marry you,” he gasped, but Avery shook his head.

“No, I don’t think you do anymore. I think you feel like you need to marry me, and I’m not an obligation. I’m not a second choice,” Patrick tried to interject but he stopped him. “Don’t. I’ve said what I need to say, and I’ll probably think of something else later, but for now, that’s all I’ve got.” Patrick continued to cry, and he leaned over to kiss him, barely brushing lips. “I’m going to go pack up my things,” he began and Patrick shook his head dramatically, “yes, I’m going to pack and sleep. I’ll call for a taxi in the morning and get out of here before anyone wakes up. If they ask, I had to go back home for work or something.”

“Don’t leave.”

“Patrick, I don’t want to leave you, but I told you, I’m no one’s second choice. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen, but I’m beginning to think that I’m not the one for you. I think you already found that.” He stood up and moved away from Patrick, still kneeling on the floor. “We can talk more when you get back to New York, but I need some time.” He moved toward the bedroom, but paused at the door, afraid that Patrick might follow him and keep begging him to stay. “I want to be alone tonight,” he said, closing the bedroom door behind him. He wasn’t sure if he would, but he hoped Patrick would leave, and if he did, Avery knew exactly where he’d go. He wasn’t happy about it; actually, he was really angry about it, but he couldn’t help himself from being torn. He still loved him, and he didn’t want Patrick to sit miserably outside his door.

“Avery, please,” Patrick’s voice filtered through the door, but Avery didn’t open it.

“Go, Patrick. I want to be alone.” Avery pulled his button up off inside out and threw it to the ground as he kicked off his shoes. “I know where you really want to be.” Patrick’s sob carried through the door.

“I want to be here. I’m sorry!” Avery pushed his slacks down his legs and fell back onto the bed.

“Go, Patrick. Please, just leave.” He listened as Patrick cried outside the door, but he didn’t let any tears of his own fall until he heard the door to the pool house open and close.

\---

Patrick stood in the backyard outside of the pool house, unsure of what to do or where to go. It was too late to get a car or he’d go to his mother’s, and he knew that Avery thought he’d go to Pete, but he couldn’t. He’d broken Pete’s heart a couple hours ago, and he wasn’t about to walk upstairs and tell him that Avery had done the same to him. He knew that part of the reason Avery was breaking things off was because of what he’d heard. He was well aware that Patrick loved someone else, but that didn’t make his feelings for Avery any less real. He wanted to scream, but it was past three in the morning, and he didn’t think anyone in the neighborhood would appreciate it. He walked slowly to the main house and was thankful to find that the backdoor was unlocked. He slid inside and began making his way to the den; he could sleep on the couch in there, and he set an alarm on his phone, hoping to be awake in time to see Avery before he left.

**Sunday, August 3, 2019**

Avery was up before six to pack, and as soon as he could, he called for a cab, giving them William’s address. It was nearly seven when he heard the pool house door open from the bathroom, and he had no doubt that Patrick was there to ask him to stay, to work it out. He turned the light off in the bathroom and made his way out to the small kitchen, not stopping to look at Patrick.

“I told you that I needed some time,” he said, his back to the door.

“Not Patrick,” Pete’s voice hit him so hard that his breath caught in his throat. He turned around slowly and found Pete, who had definitely not slept the night before. He was still in his slacks from the wedding and his white undershirt was wrinkled from tossing all night. Avery didn’t want him to know how much seeing Pete was affecting him, so he turned back to the kitchen and finished getting himself a glass of water.

“What?” he said, and he cringed at his own voice, but fuck it. He was allowed to be angry and short.

“I need to talk to you about Patrick,” he said and Avery rolled his eyes. Was he really coming to brag?

“I know already. I told him to leave, and he came to you.”

“No, he didn’t. I couldn’t sleep last night, so I went downstairs and found Patrick asleep on the couch.” Avery took a deep breath and a sip of his lukewarm water. He wasn’t entirely sure what to say back to him. “He chose you. Why did you break things off?”

“Because he’s not in love with me like he’s in love with you. He doesn’t want to marry me, and I can tell that you don’t want him to either.”

“Of course not. I wanted him to be with me, but that’s not what he chose.” Avery dumped his nearly full water glass in the sink and turned back to Pete.

“Can I ask you something?” Pete nodded, and Avery continued, “If you were engaged to someone and found out they loved someone else, would you marry him?”

“If it was Patrick, yes. There is nothing he could do to change my mind.”

“What if it was someone else, not Patrick? Would you still marry him?”

Pete shrugged and said, “there isn’t anyone else.” Avery wanted to press, but he knew what Pete was saying. He was telling Avery that there would never be anyone else for him.

“Why didn’t he go to you? I thought he would.”

“Because he loves you, and doesn’t want to hurt you,” he said, “and it’s Patrick. He probably thought I’d turn him away, the dumbass.” He was still totally fond of Patrick, which surprised Avery.

“You said he chose me, but you still want to be with him?”

“Yeah, of course. There isn’t anything he could do -.”

“To change that, right.”

“Look,” Pete said firmly, “I’m only here to tell you that you can’t go. You need to stay and work things out with him.”

“I can’t fucking believe this!” Avery stomped over to his suitcase and slammed it shut, zipping it. “I came here to meet Patrick’s friends from high school and instead, I meet the love of his fucking life. I don’t know how anyone thought this was going to end well.”

“Avery, wait, please. I am begging you to stay and reconsider. Do not leave him.” Pete was rushing to the door to stop him from leaving.

“How can you still want him after this?”

“There is nothing -.”

“Fuck, okay! I get it. Nothing he could do… shit. This is a fucking mess.”

“I know it is, but he loves you. I know he does.”

“I know he loves me, Pete, but I don’t think he’s in love with me. I think that’s been you the whole time,” Avery could feel himself calming down slowly. “I’m leaving for New York today, and when Patrick gets there, it’s going to be to pack up his stuff. I want to be with someone who wants me the way you want him. The way he wants you. I deserve that, right?”

“Yeah, man. Of course, but Patrick -.”

“Isn’t that person. I see that now. I’m so fucking angry at him, but I still care, and he’s not going to take this well. He’ll need you during this, so just, be there, I guess.” Avery moved past Pete and left. He went around the side of the house to avoid seeing anyone else, especially Patrick, and saw that his cab was sitting just outside of the driveway. He put his suitcase into the backseat, and refused to look anywhere else but straight through the windshield. As his cab pulled away, he felt himself start to tear up again, but didn’t let them fall. He’d be okay – with time.

-

          Pete was still sitting in the pool house when Patrick came rushing in like a shot. He didn’t see Pete in the corner chair and moved past him, calling for Avery. Pete felt his chest tighten listening to Patrick yell for Avery as he stood and crossed the living room. Patrick burst back in from the bedroom and stopped just short of Pete.

          “He’s already gone,” Pete told him gently, “he left about an hour ago.” Patrick shook his head.

          “No! My alarm didn’t go off, and I was supposed to be here to stop him, and I need to tell him that I love him and make him believe me, and I -.”

          “Hey, Patrick,” Pete said moving closer to him tentatively, “I’m sorry, but he’s gone.”

          “What did you do? What did you say to him?” Patrick screamed at Pete, sure that it was his fault that Avery had left without seeing him.

          “I didn’t… I came here to stop him. I told him that I found you on the couch and that you didn’t come to me, that you wanted him to stay, but he told me that -. He told me what he told you.” Patrick simply stared at him, letting it sink in.

          “He’s gone.”

          “He got a flight back today.”

          “Pete,” Patrick was crying again, “I really fucked up.” Pete grabbed for Patrick’s hands and pulled him close.

          “No, this situation is fucked up. I’m sorry. I know you picked him, but I want you to know that it doesn’t change anything. I’m still here. Always.”

          “That’s the problem,” Patrick told him, “I didn’t choose him. I never told you that I chose him. All I said was that I had to marry him, and he heard everything, and it wasn’t enough for him. He deserves better than me.”

          Pete snorted and Patrick glared at him, but Pete recovered, “I’m sorry, just… if you think there is anyone better than you then you’re more touched in the head than I am.” Patrick shook his head.

          “I can’t believe you actually think that,” he said, and Pete laughed again.

          “I can’t believe you don’t.” Patrick didn’t respond, but he did pull Pete into a hug, which Pete tried desperately not to put too much hope into.

          “I feel like I ruined his life,” he mumbled against Pete’s t-shirt.

          “You didn’t, I promise. He’s a really good man, Trick. He will come back from this,” he said and pulled back enough to look Patrick in the eye, “and you will, too.” Patrick pushed them back together without a response, and they stood together for quite some time before anyone spoke again.

          “Did you mean that? That I make you happier than anyone?”

          “Yes.”

          “And now?”

          “I’m happy right now.”

          “No, you’re not.”

          “I’m with you, aren’t I?” Pete pulled back from him again, curious why that seemed to stand out to him. “Why?”

          “My mom. I was confused about what to do, and I asked her how she knew my dad was the right one, and she said that he made her happier than anyone else. And when you said that last night – I nearly changed my mind. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t do that to Avery… now he’s left me instead.”

“I know we haven’t really talked in a long time, but I’m here for you if you need someone. A friend, I mean.” Patrick nodded against Pete’s shoulder.

“When are you leaving?”

“I’m supposed to fly back on Tuesday to finish up some work at my old office, but I’ll be back on Thursday. Unless – I mean, I can put it off if you want to -.”

“No,” Patrick said, “you should go. I’m flying back on Tuesday, too. I don’t know what I’m going to do. He’s going to want me to leave, isn’t he?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he’ll cool down after some time apart, and you can talk.”

“I don’t think he’ll take me back after all this. He was right. He does deserve to have someone who loves him and only him,” Patrick pulled away from him now, “and I’m surprised that you would want us to make up.” Pete only shrugged because honestly, he didn’t want them to make up, but he didn’t want Patrick to have to deal with losing Avery. Patrick sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. “I’m exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep if I tried. I’m going to get dressed and go see my dad before everyone else gets up.”

“Yeah, sure,” Pete said awkwardly pushing his hands into his pockets, “I’ll just head back. Um, I’ll see you at lunch?” Patrick nodded and closed the bedroom door behind him. Pete went back to the main house and tried unsuccessfully to stifle the hope rising in his chest. After the confusion of last night, he felt like his chance to be happy with Patrick might actually be within reach once again.

\---

Lunch with the guys was exactly what Patrick needed. He was surrounded by his oldest friends who didn’t even bat an eye when Avery didn’t show up, and he was beyond happy to have this group of people in his life. Gabe and William were leaving in a few hours to go on their honeymoon in Europe for two weeks, and they were spending time with their friends before they left. They were crammed into the kitchen at the smaller table in the corner. He, William, Gabe, and Travis were squeezed into the bench against the wall; Brendon and Jon were sharing a chair at the corner of the table, leaving room for Spencer, Joe, Ryan, and Pete to sit on the other bench. Andy was sitting on a stool, a little too tall for the table, but no one seemed to mind the discomfort as they laughed at Gabe’s retelling of his and William’s first date.

“He showed up in a polo, cargo shorts, and fucking slip on sandals. Are you fucking kidding me?” William was crying with laughter next to him, “You needed me from day one! You were a disaster, and you’re lucky I saw potential in you.”

“I was nervous! I had more on my mind than my clothes!”

“Like what? You had to know I wasn’t letting you anywhere near me with those fucking Nike sandals on.” William laughed again and leaned further into his husband, elated that he was spending the rest of his life with him.

“What happened to those shoes? I lost them our junior year, I think.”

“No, you didn’t lose them. I threw them in the trash where they belonged!” Patrick laughed next him, and could feel himself lightening up a little. He glanced at Pete, who seemed happier, too, laughing along at Gabe’s exaggerated stories. “Anyway,” Gabe said, “we need to leave soon if we want to get to the airport on time.”

Nobody moved immediately, but slowly they began to disperse, leaving Gabe and William at the table alone. Patrick was cleaning his plate off in the sink, watching them, and he felt the heaviness descend on him once again. That wouldn’t be him and Avery anymore... Pete surprised him, coming up behind him to put a water glass in the sink. He didn’t say anything, but he smiled at Patrick and left him to washing. He looked up again to see Gabe and William kiss quickly and get up from the bench; William left the kitchen to grab the bags, but Gabe joined Patrick behind the island.

“Want some help?”

“You want to wash dishes?”

“No, but I want you to talk to me, and I thought you might if I stood here for a few minutes, but you’re wrecking that plan already, so, what happened?”

“Gabe -.”

“Okay, I’m leaving in a few minutes for two weeks, during which, I will be unreachable. So, if there is anything you might want to talk about, it needs to happen now.” Patrick turned off the water and wiped his hands on the towel next to him.

“It’s a long story.”

“Shorten it.”

“Gabe -.”

“I’m sorry! I just want to know what’s going on with you before I am dragged out of here. Unsurprisingly, my wedding weekend has been overrun with drama from my oldest friends.”

“Okay, okay. So, I talked to Pete, and I brought up those things you told me, and he said that it was true and that he loved me and then I kissed him, and –.” Gabe squealed next to him, but Patrick pushed through, “then I told him that I loved him, too. I needed to talk to Avery though, and I knew I couldn’t break off our engagement over one kiss with Pete, so I told Pete that, and Avery heard everything… he ended up leaving this morning. He said – he said he doesn’t want to marry me. He wants to be with someone who loves him and only him. And Pete asked him to stay for me, but he left anyway. I think Avery and I are really over, and Pete and I are – I don’t know. I never know what we are.” Gabe looked thoughtful, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Patrick could tell that only one thing mattered to him.

“You kissed? How was it? Hot? I bet it was so fucking hot. All the built up tension, years in the making, just coming out and -.”

“Gabe.”

“Right, yeah, sorry,” he said leaning back from Patrick, “so, Pete asked him to stay for you? After you told him you had to stay with Avery?” Patrick nodded. “So, once again, Pete is dropping everything and putting you first?” Patrick nodded again. “Okay, then I’ve only got one more thing to say. For our entire lives, Pete has put you first, done everything for you, and been upfront about how he feels. So, if you decide that Pete is the one, you can’t wait for him to do everything again. You need to be the one to chase him for once.” Patrick didn’t respond, but William’s presence in the room saved him from needing one. “Think about it.” He hugged Patrick tightly, and after William did the same, they said their goodbyes and left.

Patrick needed to think, and he couldn’t do that with Pete near him, so he said a few quick goodbyes of his own, before gathering his things from the pool house and heading to his mother’s. He’d have to make a firm decision before his flight on Tuesday, and he still wasn’t sure what it was going to be. He looked down at the ring on his finger and frowned. How the hell was he supposed to decide between two people who gave him everything? Two people who didn’t let his own ridiculous insecurities about being unlovable get in the way, and accepted every part of him. He hoped a couple days holed up in his old bedroom would give him a little clarity.

**Tuesday, August 5, 2019**

Tuesday came quickly for Pete, and he found himself rushing through the boxes in his parents’ – no – his house, trying to make his flight on time. His car had been delivered early the morning before, and he’d called Sarah to make sure that she would be there to pick him up from the airport, forgetting that he wouldn’t have his car in California anymore. She’d told him that she would be, and that closing down the office in LA was going well. Everything was boxed up except for the main office phone and the tablet with their calendar on it. Pete told her just how much he appreciated her, and he really did. He hated to lose her because she was much more than a receptionist; she was practically his assistant with how much she did for him and kept him together. She’d been his saving grace on more than a few occasions when meetings with executives had slipped his mind. He hadn’t said anything to her about it yet, but he’d already made arrangements with Island Records to get her a new job. She’d actually have an assistant title there and a pay raise, which he may or may not have demanded they give her.

He was glad to be so busy for the past couple days because it kept his mind off Patrick, who had disappeared Sunday after lunch. Pete sent him a text Sunday night, just to make sure he was okay, and he really didn’t expect an answer, but Patrick had responded quickly with: _At my mom’s. Just need some time to think before I go. I’m okay._ Pete quickly text him back to tell him that he understood, but Patrick didn’t continue the conversation. Pete wasn’t too upset, though; he was happy that Patrick had even bothered to speak to him. He spent Monday dropping Jon, Spencer, Ryan, and Brendon at the airport for their flights home, drawing up paperwork to rent out Nate’s storage space, and waiting around for his car and the stuff from his apartment to be delivered. He drove way above the speed limit to get to the airport in time and just made his flight just before they closed the doors. He hated O’Hare almost as much as he hated LAX, both notorious for changing his flight times. When the plane finally leveled itself in the air, he allowed himself to relax and pulled out his laptop to keep busy again. He couldn’t let himself think about Patrick on his flight to New York, and the fact that soon enough, Patrick was going to either be re-engaged… or something else. He sure as hell didn’t know.

\---

          Patrick hadn’t expected Avery to pick him up at the airport, obviously, so he waited an extra forty minutes at the pickup for the taxi he’d called. He gave him the address of the townhouse and settled in for the long drive. He hated New York traffic. Tuesday had come too soon for him, and Patrick wished that he could have stayed longer, and hide from his problems, but there he was, headed straight for one. Monday had been stressful, but he loved being able to spend time with his mother for a while. He’d spent most of Monday morning holed up in bed before trekking downstairs and having coffee with his mother. They spent the rest of the night sitting on the couch, watching old TV reruns, and Patrick knew that his mom had canceled a date with John to stay with him. John seemed to take it incredibly well, which Patrick was grateful for. He knew John had a couple kids of his own, and he probably knew that Patrick came first for his mom. They’d sat together well into the night, never speaking about what Patrick had to do. She didn’t even say anything when she dropped him at the airport the next morning, just kissed his forehead and made him promise to call when he landed.

          When the taxi pulled up to his townhouse, he didn’t want to get out, but his meter was running, and he wasn’t made of money, so he steeled himself to get out of the car, dragging his suitcase behind him. He fumbled with his keys outside for a minute before going in and leaving his bag by the door.

          “Avery?” he called, closing the door behind him. He waited for a reply, hoping he wouldn’t get one, hoping Avery was out for the day.

          “In here,” he heard from the kitchen, and immediately, that damn lump formed in his throat. Shit. He made his way into the small kitchen and found Avery cooking, seemingly relaxed. Patrick dropped his keys on the counter and waited for Avery to turn around.

          “Hey,” Avery said over his shoulder, slipping the towel he’d had balanced on it off to wipe his hands. He dropped the towel and turned fully to Patrick, who noticed instantly that Avery’s ring was gone. He tried not to freak out because Avery always took off his ring when he cooked. “You made it,” he said casually.

          “Yeah,” Patrick sat on one of the stools by the island, where he normally sat when Avery cooked, and Avery nodded as he pushed away from the counter to stand on the other side of the island.

          “So…”

          “So.”

          “Patrick,” Avery laughed a little, “I thought I’d know exactly what to say to you before you got here, but I still don’t.”

          “Avery, I -.”

          “No,” he interrupted, “I’m still going to say what’s on my mind.” Patrick nodded and shut up, not wanting this to escalate into a fight again. “I am still angry, and I don’t know how I can stop being angry about this, but I do love you. Very much.” Patrick sighed and waited for the rest, but it didn’t come.

          “What does that mean?” Avery shrugged.

          “It means exactly what I said. I love you, but I’m mad,” he repeated, “and, Patrick, I don’t think this is something that we are coming back from.” Patrick involuntarily choked on his next breath, tears ready to spill again. “I don’t want to hurt you, but you hurt me when you kissed someone else. You killed me when you told him that you loved him.” He ran his hands over his face as Patrick’s crumbled. “Fuck, I didn’t want to do this as soon as you got here.” Patrick watched him move around the island to stand in front of him, and Avery cupped Patrick’s face in his hands. “Can you tell me, without a doubt that Pete is completely behind you? That you will never see him again? Can you guarantee that you won’t resent me for asking you to stay away from him?” Patrick needed to nod, to tell Avery that he could absolutely leave Pete behind. But suddenly all he could see was Pete: meeting him at five years old, the endless car rides singing in his car at sixteen, their first kiss at fourteen, Pete showing up after his dad died when he was too young to lose a parent, their time on stage together at fifteen, the rain that seemed to pour down whenever they fought… He felt himself shake his head because no, he couldn’t promise those things. Avery dropped his head, but didn’t let go of Patrick.

          “That’s what I thought.” He leaned forward and kissed Patrick’s cheek. “There are boxes for you. They’re in the hall closet,” he said, stepping away and putting distance between him and Patrick. “You can – take your time. I’m not forcing you out tonight, but…” Patrick didn’t respond, but he didn’t know what to say anyway. Avery had known that Patrick was going to choose Pete before he even showed up if he’d already had boxes for him. He pushed himself slowly from the stool and went to the closet, and seeing the boxes, he sunk to the floor in tears. He wished he could go back and fix everything – not just Avery, but further back, to the day he and Pete had kissed for the first time. He should have just said how he felt instead of hiding away in fear. He was always so scared, and after nearly ten years of loving Pete, he knew exactly what he was afraid of. He was afraid to have everything he wanted, and then Pete would see him as he sees himself and leave. He was afraid to know what it’s like to have everything and then nothing.

          He heard Avery come up behind him and stand before sitting down behind him, hugging him like he didn’t deserve. “I’m so sorry,” Patrick told him. Avery shushed him and rocked him slightly, like a child. They sat there together until Patrick could breathe again, his panic attack passing. Even then, Avery stayed with him.

**Thursday, August 7, 2019**

          Pete officially wanted to quit home owning already. After arriving to his house in Chicago on Thursday, he realized that he hadn’t unpacked anything, and if he didn’t unpack, he’d be sleeping on a bare mattress on the floor of the master bedroom. He managed to assemble his simple bedframe and find his bedding, but after unpacking his books and records, he realized that he needed much more furniture for the bedroom... and the rest of the house. His parents had taken the majority of their living room furniture with them to their new home in Seattle, and he was left needing more than he’d expected. He thought briefly about driving to Ikea, but decided that he’d rather have electricity, which led him to an argument with the mean woman behind the counter at the power company. Sitting in his car in the parking lot, he tried not to scream. He was not ready to have a home. He’d thought he’d move into his family house with an actual family in tow. Someone else to help him build a home, but there he was, a guy in his mid-twenties with no furniture other than a bed. He wished he’d just paid more to have the rest of his furniture shipped instead of selling it before he left California. He really hadn’t thought things through.

          He drove back to his house, hoping the power would be on so that he could call and set up a time to have cable and wi-fi installed. There was too much shit for him to do, and not enough time to do it since he’d told Nate that he’d be in on Monday to help him move his storage around for Pete to have a makeshift office in the upstairs of his shop. When he got back home, he decided to check the basement and attic to see if his parents left anything behind. The basement was pretty much empty except for their old giant Christmas tree and a couple of boxes labeled ‘Pete – school’, which had the hordes of papers and shitty art projects he’d brought home; his mother was a notorious packrat, it seemed. He checked the attic next and found multiple boxes with just his name on them. He popped them open in the attic, not wanting to drag them down the stairs if they weren’t important. He found some old books and CDs, more random papers with his old bad poetry, and some random pictures of him and his family over the years, which he pulled out and laid to the side before closing the box up. He continued through them, finding similar things until he opened the last box. The ink on the outside looked fresher than the others and inside he found all the framed photos that his parents had hung through the house over the years. He didn’t know why they’d left them behind until he realized that they all had Patrick in them.

          He’d been so busy the past few days that Patrick had thankfully taken a backseat in his head, but now that he was staring at his face, it was hard to ignore him. There were photos from vacations, school functions, reunions, and holidays. The one that really made him smile was the one of him, his parents, and Patrick and his parents when they’d all gone to the cabin when he and Patrick were thirteen. He was, of course, shirtless and painfully skinny, and he had his arm thrown around Patrick and his own dad. Patrick’s dad was crouched slightly to be more on Patrick’s level and Pete’s mom was looking down at him and Patrick smiling. Patrick’s mother stood happily under Pete’s dad’s arm, and they were all posed in front of the lake while his dad’s old camera balanced dangerously on a tree limb. God, he missed going to the cabin. Pete pulled the entire box to the door of the attic and carefully carried it downstairs. He decided to hang most of the pictures back in their original spots, but his favorite would go in the bedroom.

He had finished unpacking most of his things, but it just sat in piles on his floor, except for the box with Patrick’s records in it. He hadn’t meant for his collection to get so big, but he couldn’t help himself. Every time he went to a record store, he’d see if Patrick’s album was there and he’d buy them, no matter how many there were. His worst was right after it came out, and he went into his favorite indie place just outside of LA, and he saw them putting Patrick’s album out. He waited forty-five minutes for someone to buy a copy, but when no one did, he bought all twelve of them. He’d felt crazy loading them into his arms and putting them on the counter, but the guy had only said, ‘big fan?’, and Pete had replied, ‘the biggest.’ After that, it was almost a habit. He saw the album, and he bought them all. Yeah, he was nuts, but he didn’t care. He was really fucking proud of him, and if buying his album was the only way to show that, that’s what he’d do. He pushed the box, which he’d decided against labeling, to the side of his bed and placed the photo from the cabin on top.

He remembered just before the cable company closed to call them, and they were scheduled to come the next day in the morning. He decided to go to bed early, and hopefully get some sleep before anyone showed up in the morning. He lay down on top of his sheets and knew immediately that it was going to be a rough night. He rolled to his side and grabbed his headphones and phone, hoping a little music soothed him, and if he ended up on the same album he had fifty six copies of, no one knew but him.

**Saturday, August 9, 2019**

Patrick was packed for his flight to Chicago on Saturday, and his mother was more than excited to be seeing him again so soon. After two days of avoiding each other, Avery wordlessly helped Patrick bring his boxes to the front door where they would be picked up by the movers. Patrick had booked his flight Thursday night after his things had been picked up, and he was supposed to get to Chicago at the same time as his stuff so his mother wouldn’t have to deal with it alone. All he had was his carry on suitcase and an envelope with keys he needed to return to Pete’s parents. He wouldn’t be in New York anymore, couldn’t chance seeing Avery so soon, which meant that he would no longer need his old studio or apartment anymore. And he wouldn’t be using the key to the cabin either.

“Patrick?” Avery called to him from the living room. He found him standing near the bookshelf where Patrick’s books and records had been taken down and packed, leaving it much emptier than before. Patrick saw the photo of him and Avery from his twenty-first birthday still sitting on the shelf, and he wondered what Avery would do to it. “You leaving now?” Patrick nodded.

“Yeah, my taxi will be here soon.”

“I could still drive you -.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I will.” Patrick only shook his head. He didn’t need his tearful goodbye to be witnessed by everyone at the airport. “Okay,” Avery conceded. He rubbed his hands over his face, and at the sight of his bare ring finger, Patrick suddenly remembered that he still had his. He looked down at his left and slipped the plain band off his finger. He wasn’t sure what to do with it, but Avery held out his hand suddenly. Patrick stared at him for a minute before placing the ring in his palm. Avery gripped the ring tightly in his hand and his face contorted into a grimace. Before Patrick could apologize again, his phone chimed, letting him know that his taxi was outside.

“My ride’s here,” he said softly, “I, um…” He didn’t know what to say to the man he’d been with for over five years. A man he nearly married. Avery didn’t respond or look at him, so he moved to the door to grab his bag. He glanced out the window in the door and saw the taxi parked outside. He reached for the door, but he heard Avery run from the living room, and Avery grabbed him and pulled him into a hug.

“Go be happy,” Avery said, holding back tears, “I’m going to be okay. You are, too. I love you.” Patrick clutched him tightly, fists gripping his blue t-shirt. “Go be happy,” he said again meaningfully, and Patrick knew exactly what he was saying. He was giving him a blessing he had no right to ask for.

“I love you,” Patrick told him as his taxi honked outside. Avery pushed him back and nodded harshly, and he leaned forward and opened the door. Patrick left. He stood outside, looking up at the door that closed behind him, and he hoped desperately that he would see Avery again, and when he did, he wanted Avery to be happier than he’d ever been with Patrick with someone who loved only him. He turned to his taxi, threw his suitcase into the backseat and told the driver he was going to JFK. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the worn leather seat, and he felt suddenly light. He was a single, unemployed man, moving back in with his mother, but he was going to be okay. He smiled slightly and only opened his eyes when he heard the patter of rain on the windows.

**Friday, August 15, 2019**

Pete was in his own personal hell trying to put tiny little wooden legs on a fucking couch. He’d kicked the damn thing enough that he may have permanently damaged his foot. He’d been in the house a little over week now, and his nervous energy was really starting to build. He knew for a fact that Patrick was home, but he hadn’t said anything to Pete or anyone else for that matter. The only reason that Pete knew he was back was because he’d seen him briefly at the grocery store with his mother, and Pete had forced himself not to rush over and ask what the hell he was doing home. He assumed that Avery had broken it off, but he couldn’t be sure, and he didn’t want to make an ass of himself. Maybe they just needed some time away from each other, but then why come all the way to Chicago? He still had the other apartment in New York, so he could have just stayed there…

He was driving himself crazy thinking about it, so here he was, putting teeny legs on a couch. After another attempt of screwing the leg in and it going in crooked, he kicked the couch once more and left it lying on its side while he went to the kitchen to take a break. He got himself a glass of water and jumped to sit on the counter, which reminded him to get some stools or something in the kitchen. He gulped down the water, put the glass in the sink and eyed his keys on the corner of the island. He really wanted to go somewhere, and he was thinking that Patrick’s sudden appearance in town was the perfect reason to get out. Ever since he’d pulled the photo of the cabin out from the attic, he’d wanted nothing more than to go and get away from all the big life decisions he’d made. He didn’t want to think about leaving LA, moving his label, ruining Patrick’s life… He pushed off the counter suddenly, his mind made up. He would leave in the morning and spend the weekend at the cabin before the summer season ended and get some sun. He passed his stupid couch and went upstairs to pack a bag for himself and call Nate to let him know that he’d be gone for the weekend. Travis was coming in on Monday, and he’d back in time to pick him up at the airport, but for the next two days, he would be relaxing by the lake, soaking up the sun, and not thinking about his couch.

**Saturday, August 16, 2019**

Patrick was so nervous. He’d thought he’d have spoken to Pete by now, but he’d been back almost a week, and he hadn’t spoken to anyone except his mother and her boyfriend. He had started looking for a job already because he no longer had the ability to record an album in a studio while his fiancé produced it. He stared up at his ceiling, trying to make himself get up, shower, and go see Pete. Avery had told him to go be happy, but he was miserable in bed, and he couldn’t shake it. He heard his mom come in from work downstairs with John following her in. It was Friday, and they probably wanted to spend time together alone, and not with her adult son hanging around. Patrick sighed, pushing off his bed, and made it to his shower. If he couldn’t find the guts to go to Pete’s house just yet, he’d go to Nate’s shop where he had a good chance of running into him. He wanted to see Pete, and he had ever since he landed in Chicago, but he didn’t know what he was going to say when he saw him. Was he ready to try something with Pete right after his relationship ended? Probably not, but he wouldn’t know until he saw him.

He rushed through getting ready and said a quick goodbye to his mother and John.

“Wait!” his mother said before he could reach the door. “Where are you going? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, mom,” he said, annoyed, until he realized that he hadn’t left the house alone yet. She was just concerned about him. “I’m fine. I’m just running to the record store and maybe to eat. You mind if I borrow your car? No big deal,” he said, giving her a smile.

“Yeah, sure. Keys are there,” she pointed to her keys hanging by the door. “Love you,” she called as he closed the door and unlocked her car. The drive to Nate’s was shorter than he remembered, but he was surprised he made it. He remembered the town better than he thought. Nate’s was closing in about a half hour according to the hours on the door, but he went in anyway. Nate stood behind the counter, and Patrick was surprised that he waved. He recognized him, even though Patrick was nearly forty pounds lighter. Patrick waved back, and when he didn’t see Pete anywhere, he decided to look around for a few minutes. He moved up and down the aisles, not really looking but hoping to run into Pete. He found himself in the ‘S’ section and wondered if his album had even made it to Nate’s shop. He was surprised to see the little card with his name, but there was nothing behind it. He smiled at the fact that somebody had bought one, at least. After wandering for the majority of the thirty minutes, he decided to just ask Nate, as casually as possible, if he’d seen Pete today. He approached the counter where Nate was sorting through papers, and leaned against it awkwardly.

“Hey, man,” Nate said, looking up at him, “how’s it going?” Patrick shrugged, suddenly at a loss for words.

“Uh, good, I mean. You?” Nate shrugged back at him, but with a smile.

“Can’t complain. ‘Cept this paperwork. Rather not do that,” he said. Patrick nodded, unsure of how to ask about Pete. “You need some help finding something? Pretty sure you used to know this place better than I did.”

“I was here a lot,” was all he said back, and Nate laughed nodding.

“Unless you’re looking for your album,” he joked, and Patrick felt the heat in his cheeks rising, “But I can’t help you there until I get more in. Some guy came in and bought all the copies I had left.” Patrick frowned and looked up at Nate, but the other man was already focused on his paperwork. Who the hell would have… Patrick thought he said goodbye to Nate as he ran to his mom’s car, but he wasn’t sure. He sped on his way to Pete’s house, sure that he was the one who bought them even if Nate didn’t say his name specifically. He pulled into Pete’s driveway and was disappointed to not see his car, but that didn’t stop him from going up to the door and knocking. He waited, but he never heard footsteps. Maybe he was there, but he was avoiding Patrick. He dug through his keys and found the one he’d kept to Pete’s and tried it in the door. It worked and he was so relieved. He pushed inside, calling for Pete, but the house was dark inside. He looked into the living room and saw the turned over couch before moving into the kitchen. He looked around, yelling for Pete every few minutes and then made his way upstairs. He bypassed Pete’s old room, assuming that he’d moved into the master, and when he pushed the door open, he found he was right.

Pete’s bed was the only thing set up, surrounded by stacks of books and records and CDs. At least he’d unpacked, unlike Patrick who’d left his boxes stacked in his bedroom. He spied one box, near the bed with a photo perched on it. He lifted it and saw his and Pete’s family at the cabin when they were much younger. He couldn’t help but smile at his dad crouched down next to him in the picture, and he sat on the bed for a minute just to look at the picture. He wondered why Pete had chosen this picture to put next to his bed, but he didn’t dwell on it, he moved to set it back down, but the box underneath caught his attention. The top wasn’t completely closed, and he saw a familiar shade of blue peeking through, so he pulled the box open and his mouth dropped open in shock. There had to be over fifty copies of his album stuffed in one box. He reached in and found some were still in plastic while others had been opened more than once judging by the wear on the corners and edges. Pete had bought all of these? He quickly closed the box and put the picture back on top, and he rushed downstairs, looking for some sign of where Pete may have gone. He found it on the kitchen counter, which he’d glossed over before, and saw a slip of paper that said, _Call mom from cabin – get beer_.

Pete was at the cabin. Patrick rushed back out to the car, locking Pete’s door behind him, and sped away. He hoped his mom wouldn’t need the car anytime soon.

\---

So much for a sunny weekend, Pete had thought when he arrived at the cabin only to see gray skies above. He checked the weather forecast and saw nothing but rain for the rest of the weekend, which sucked, but he was glad to be away from everything. He spent most of his day lounging around the living room, watching old movies on TV while the sky became darker with rain clouds. The last time he’d been to the cabin, it had been full of his friends on New Year’s, but now he was alone, sitting in the dark. Hadn’t that been the thing he’d been afraid of? To be all alone? He pushed away from the couch, sure that if he sat any longer, dwelling in his thoughts, he would drive himself into an anxiety attack. He left the movie running in the background while he dug through the kitchen. He’d stopped to buy junk food, and now he was wishing he had some actual food. He popped open a bag of chips and walked around the kitchen, eating.

\---

Patrick thanked his own brain for remembering how to get to the cabin as he pulled up to the gate, but he quickly berated himself for forgetting about the gate. How the hell was he going to get in without Pete – he heard thunder rumble low in the distance and groaned as the rain began. He stopped at the gate and jumped out of his car, rushing up to the window Patrick was happy to see that Jeremy still worked the gate.

“Hey, Jeremy,” he said pushing up to the crack in the window as the rain started coming down on him, “I don’t know if you remember me or not -.”

“Patrick!” Jeremy slid the window open fully and looked out at Patrick, indifferent to the rain. “Pete forgot to tell me you were coming! I used to see you boys up here all the time.” Patrick nodded rapidly, flinging water off his hair.

“Yeah, um, could you let me in?” He hoped Jeremy would be lenient with him; after all, he’d known Jeremy since he was a kid.

“Yeah, of course! Good to see you, buddy. You look great!” He shouted as Patrick ran back to his car. Patrick yelled back a thank you and slammed the door behind him. Thank god for eighty year old Jeremy with the best memory in America. As soon as the gate was open, he was off.

\---

Pete rolled the top of the chip bag up when they weren’t cutting it. He wanted real home-cooked food, but he hadn’t thought about that.  He was beginning to think that was a habit of his, not thinking things through. He shoved the bag back into the grocery bag on the counter and leaned against it. He was getting the beginnings of a headache, and it pounded behind his eyes when he closed them. Really pounded… His eyes snapped open when he realized that pounding was coming from the door. He moved slowly through the kitchen, wondering who it could possibly be. His parents were the only ones who knew he was here and the only ones that Jeremy would let through the gate. He peeked around the corner and saw an outline on the front steps.

“Pete!” Pete leapt back when he heard Patrick’s voice, “Pete, come on! I know you’re in there, and I’m getting soaked out here!” Pete rushed to the front door, throwing it open, and watching a very cold and wet Patrick brush past him. Pete stumbled back a little before he closed the door against the brewing storm.

“Patrick, what -?” Patrick held up a hand to stop him.

“Wait, just, just wait a minute before you say anything.” He ran a hand through his matted hair. He pulled his sopping jean jacket from his body and dropped it near the door. “Okay, so… shit. I didn’t think of anything to say on my way here,” he laughed at himself, and Pete stayed completely silent, standing with his back against the wall. “Um…” Patrick sighed and laughed again before leaning on the wall opposite Pete. “Avery and I broke up.” Pete looked up from the floor and stared at him, but he still didn’t say anything. For the first time in his life, he was actually shutting up.

“I moved back in with my mom,” he said taking a deep breath. Pete still didn’t say anything, but he nodded. Patrick looked at his drenched sneakers, “I went by the record shop earlier looking for you, but you weren’t there. So, I went by your house – I still have your key, by the way, I didn’t break in -.” He shook his head. “Anyway, I um, I found this box -.”

“Patrick -.” Pete was mortified. He never thought Patrick would see those.

“Pete, please just shut up, and let me say this. I found that box with my album in it and this picture of all us here and… So, I drove all the way here to tell you that you that I don’t want you to wait for me anymore. I don’t want you to chase after me or put me first.” Pete’s heart dropped. He couldn’t imagine Patrick would be so cruel as to drive all the way to the cabin just to tell him that he wanted Pete to leave him alone. “I don’t want you to do those things anymore,” he continued, “because I’m going to do them for you now.” Pete’s head shot up so quickly that it bounced off the wall behind him. He grabbed the back of his head even though he couldn’t really feel any pain.

“What?” he sputtered and Patrick laughed and moved towards him.

“You’ve always been there for me. You told me a long time ago how you felt, and I was always too fucking scared to tell you that I felt the same. But I’m here now. I followed you out here to tell you that I love you, and I want to be with you.” Patrick was right in front of him, and he flashed back to when Patrick had showed up at his house, seventeen, furious, and wet, and they’d kissed… but Patrick didn’t look angry now. He looked as hopeful as Pete felt. “Is that still what you want? I know I put you through a lot, but -.” Pete grabbed him suddenly, kissing him frantically, happily. Patrick was grinning against him, but trying his best to kiss him back. He grabbed at Patrick’s wet shirt, and when Patrick leaned back, Pete was afraid he’d messed it up, but Patrick simply pulled the shirt off and threw it to the floor, reaching for Pete’s, which he slipped off just as quickly.

“Nice sleeves,” he said simply, smiling at Pete before grabbing for him again. Pete couldn’t believe his luck, but he wasn’t going to question anything again. He leaned back after a minute to breathe.

“Oh, hey,” Pete said, his breathing rapid, “I love you, too. I didn’t say it back, but I definitely, definitely do.” Patrick laughed again and kissed him quickly before pulling him to the stairs. “Where are we going?” Patrick paused at the bottom of the stairs and looked back at him.

“I’m hoping we’ll go have sex now,” he said, and Pete found himself shutting up again, “I’ve only been waiting for a decade.” And Pete rushed past him, dragging Patrick behind him.

**Sunday, August 17, 2019**

William was napping on a hammock right outside their villa in Greece on the last day of their honeymoon when he heard Gabe shrieking inside. He nearly flipped himself to the ground in his rush to get to his husband.

“Gabe! Gabe!” William stopped short when he saw Gabe jumping and screaming behind the couch, staring at his phone.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Bill, oh my god!” He screeched, rounding the couch and holding his phone out. William took it, and watched Gabe dance away, still shouting. He glanced down at the screen and saw a photo of what looked to be Pete’s back, lying in bed. He didn’t know why Pete would be sending Gabe a shirtless photo of himself, and he had no clue why Gabe would be so excited about it. He yawned, still waking up from his nap, and then he caught sight of Patrick’s name. Patrick… Patrick was sending a photo of shirtless Pete in bed…

“Oh my god!” William shouted, and Gabe’s outburst finally made sense. Gabe bounced back into the room and leapt onto William, kissing him.

“I did this!” Gabe said, and William laughed.

“How do you think this has anything to do with you?” Gabe shook his head.

“You are my husband now, and you still don’t realize just how much I am capable of. It’s the -.”

“Don’t say the Cobra…”

“The Cobra!” Gabe kissed him again, and he was deliriously happy that he’d been gifted this insane husband.

\---

“Brendon! Do not check your phone while we’re having sex!”

“I know, but this is your phone, anyway,” Brendon told him, but his voice died when he caught sight of the photo. “Holy shit.”

“What?” Ryan said, angry with him for continuing to stare at his phone.

“It’s a text. From Patrick.” Brendon turned the phone around to show Ryan.

“That’s from Patrick?” Ryan asked, his anger fading completely seeing Pete’s form, and Brendon nodded excitedly. “Holy shit.”

\---

Jon was home for a short break from work when Spencer flew through the door. He was breathing heavily, gasping as he fell onto the couch next to Jon.

“Spence?” Spencer shook his head and tried to catch his breath, and Jon was a little concerned because there was not much that would force Spencer to run. Spencer pushed up and pulled his phone out of his pocket. After a second of clicking around, he handed the phone to Jon.

“No fucking way,” Jon said as Spencer, grinning, slumped against the couch.

“Yes fucking way.”

\---

Travis opened his phone and choked on his beer, his girlfriend worryingly slapping his back.

\---

Joe opened his phone in the parking lot of a McDonalds and spilled his diet coke all over his steering wheel.

\---

Andy wrote back:

  _Did not need to see this._

_Happy for you._

\---

          Patrick watched as the texts from their friends began rolling in, but he just silenced it and set it to the side before pushing down into the covers and pulling Pete back to his chest.

**Thursday, May 7, 2022**

          Gabe grinned down at the invitation in his hands. It wasn’t a surprise.

_We invite you to witness the union of_

_Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz_

_On May 9, 2022 at one o’clock._

_The ceremony will take place at the couple’s home in Chicago._


End file.
